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Thoughts at 3 years, from the rocking chair...


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Everything is different, and yet nothing has changed. It was a lifetime ago and it feels like it just happened yesterday. My life is full of great friends, family that truly cares for me, a new guy. And yet sometimes it feels empty. I feel like I am living this life of opposites.

 

This has been an emotional month. On Father's Day my daughter posted this on Facebook.

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It reminded me of a post I made a few months after my husband passed away, this picture with the comment that some empty places just can't be filled. 74580_4337551591731_1759746243_n_zps1quovk8c.jpg

 

For a long time it was my avatar. I posted a link to it on my FB page and New Guy got a little upset about it. Then he saw the date and said he felt like a jerk and apologized. I accepted his apology but asked him if the date really made a difference. Which led to a discussion about grief and dates, and anniversaries which wreak havoc on the heart.

 

I have been spending a bit of time in that rocking chair lately as I come up on the 3 year anniversary. Reliving the last few days as our time together got small. As sad as it makes me, I am happy still that he got to do it on his terms, in a place that he loved.

 

But I don't miss him any less...

 

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