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Captains wife

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  • Date Widowed
    May 16, 2012


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  1. Captains wife

    What would you do- childhood anxiety edition

    My son was only 9 mths old when his Dad died - it’s been 7 years. Our situation sounds different than yours in some ways ,similar in others! He is very attached to me (increasingly so as he’s getting older) and very attached to our house (which his Dad and I bought together). I’ve been itching to make a change at some point but he cries when we talk about moving, even though he’s not 100 percent happy in his school. Although I don’t plan on moving soon for a few reasons I am trying to warm him up to the idea that it could happen in the future by integrating him on the choice (of a new house) and being able to decorate his room as he wants. I’m also trying to de-clutter and my son doesn’t want to part with any of his things even though he doesn’t play with them. Not a huge surprise but for this I have been explaining how we are donating the older toys and books to kids in need - and for him to think about how happy he will make some other kids by donating. This track seems to help - so maybe try this for your daughter (and integrating her in the decision)? And I would keep up with the therapy - I’m not sure it’s doing a lot for my son but it’s an invaluable resource. Positive reinforcement always works well for us - whether it is giving him a treat like a cookie or earning stickers and picking out something fun to buy. Wishing you the best - it’s so heartbreaking watching our kids struggle with loss.
  2. Tybec - I was sorry to read your post but you know you gave it your all and if he’s not making you and your son a high enough priority then that’s not ok. You should have your say and good for you for stating clearly what you want. He seems to struggle with balance (and I get the frustration in dating a divorced guy who is also not good at balance) and you’ve been dealing with a lot for a long time (of his issues). Wishing you all the best of your steps forward.
  3. Captains wife

    Wells Maine Widdabago returns September 20-22 2019

    Unf as much as I’d like to do this again as I really enjoyed last year’s Bago I won’t be able to make it this year given everything on my plate right now.
  4. Captains wife

    She's growing into him

    I hear you Mrs Dan. My son is now 8- was 9mths when his dad died. He looks a lot like me but his traits/behaviors are heavily his father’s. I wonder how it would be if he looked more like his father? We talk about his Dad a lot and my son wants to invent a time machine to go back and a save him. I’d give anything just anything for these two to meet at this point, even for 5 min.
  5. Captains wife

    facing my inner demon....

    I do wish I’d done some things differently...and for a long time felt I could have prevented my husband’s death....sigh
  6. Captains wife

    New Relationships....Post a Pic

    Anybody have some more pics? Love seeing this happy news : )
  7. Captains wife

    Wells Maine - June 14 - 16

    I hope to make this as long as my babysitting holds up
  8. Captains wife

    Will our 4 year old remember Daddy?

    Im so sorry for your loss...My son was 9months old when his Dad died, 7 years ago so he remembers nothing. But we keep the memory alive by talking about his Dad regularly, looking at pics and videos. And we do something special in memory on the sadiversary. It’s so tough but I’m so proud of how he handles it all. He cries sometimes but also enjoys our sharing moments about his Dad- and he believes in his heart his Dad is watching over him in spirit so that makes him happy.
  9. Captains wife

    So many accomplishments...DH should be here

    I understand. It’s so hard sometimes. My son’s father died when my son was 9mths old - didn’t even get to see him walk. I used to be so resentful he wasn’t here but I’ve been trying to change my mindset over time so I like to think instead how proud he would be of both of us - he would have loved the life we have now (even if it’s not perfect and not easy sometimes). But it does make me sad...and it’s sad sometimes for my son. Yet I’m super proud of how my son has dealt with the crap life has dealt him. Wishing all you single parents the best- so proud of all of us!
  10. Captains wife

    There's hope for me yet....

    Hear hear Eddienhp! I think you hit the nail on the head. Im dating but still living alone w my son. When I mention I don’t want to get married or I like going out for lunch alone some people look at me like I have 2 heads. Life is so demanding as a single working parent so solitude for me when I can get it is bliss....
  11. I’m so sorry Tybec- it was so brave of you to make this decision even if is the right decision for you. For some time you have seemed unhappy with all the drama and he way NG has dealt with his kids/custody. I completely get it when you’ve reached your limit. You deserve everything you want and you really have given it your all....I’ve been through a few breakups post widow (one serious) and it’s good to keep busy, please vent here if you need/want support and keep away from him (if you are interested I’ve read a few break up support books that helped) and they all say to stay away. Believe me, with time no contact makes it easier and gives more clarity to the situation. I wish you all the best - and look forward to hearing more of your next chapter.
  12. Captains wife

    Anniversaries close together

    Oh Bunny -I hear you. Hoping June 12th comes quickly for you... May is so tough on this end (and I’m crankier than usual this year lol). For me, it’s Mother’s Day, then 3 days later Sadiversary, then 2 weeks later wedding anniversary, then 2 weeks later Fathers Day.
  13. Captains wife

    Wells Maine - June 14 - 16

    Unf I won’t be able to make this one...sorry but I do hope our paths cross soon. Hope that you are also doing ok....
  14. Captains wife

    RI Chocolate Bago!

    Unf I’m away that weekend....sorry to miss it
  15. Captains wife

    My very own Widow Island

    Thank you for the update!!! This place looks heavenly and I’m so happy for you. And happy 50th!! I’m right behind you as a 7yr widow. 3 good things (thank you Helen for reminding me...needed this right now) 1. Have a good day planned for my son and I for the impending sadiversary. 2. I’ve realized that being widowed has made me reflective and super strong. 3. Thankful for Spring arriving (and some sunny weather).

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    May 16, 2012


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