JP

Hi Mona, I can totally relate to what you have said. I feel like I have a few friends who check up on me but they are a province away. The ones who live by me sent the generic 'let me know if you need anything' text and then I haven't heard or seen of them at all. One of my closest friends messaged (not called) me days after he died (5 months ago) and I haven't heard from her since. It all just doesn't make sense to me. I wear I checked on her more when her cousin whom she wasn't close to at all committed suicide last year. Yes its true, they don't know what to say or how to act but it still just blows my mind. So I guess the general consensus is that all of our 'friends' are acting the same. I agree, I feel like I need new ones that know exactly what we are feeling. I too have thought of joining a grief group but it seems the only ones I've been able to find have elderly members. I just feel I wouldn't be able to relate to someone who lost their spouse after 40 or 50 years together. I think thats how we all find this site, by typing in 'young widow' hoping to find other in our same position.

Glad you found us but sorry you have to join us. Today marks 5 months for me, it's really been a blur. I hope the strength of our numbers gets every one of us through this HELL (no other way to put it). Hugs, Jess

Yup I agree, all the colour has been drained from my life. It's been 4 months for me and I hate to say that I am no better. I do understand the numbness you feel, just impossible to feel anymore, especially joy. Obviously I haven't been happy since the day he died but I really don't foresee any joy in the future. Can anyone further out say what has worked for them?

I'd be down. I feel that people aren't posting on this site enough and we could use more support. Especially for those of us still so fresh out. As for giving out phone numbers, I don't think anything worse can be taken from me than already has.

Hi Dragonfly, I agree and feel you should wait some more time. I as well am only 3 months widowed and feel like I have a ton of decisions to make, including where to move. I'm currently staying with my mom and every time I think about moveing (how, where, when etc) I get anxiety. But just to add my 2 cents, I prefer the country 😉 J

J died on November 28th, we are a day apart. We put my beloved dog down on November 26th so I haven't really been able to grieve him. We had no children, my dog was my baby. I know exactly how you feel, some days I think I might make it and others I would welcome the semi head on. Hugs, Jess

Anyone tried one? Do they help? I'm been dancing around the idea as I'm a complete mess lashing out at the ones I love. I just don't want to be the only young person sitting in a room with old ladies as they talk about the 60 years they had with their husbands. Not that my grief is more important, I just want relateability. I feel like no one gets what I'm going through and all you guys are so far away. Thanks for any input. Jess

I have not yet seen him in my dreams and I don't know why. Every night before I go to sleep I pray and pray that I will see him but I always wake up disappointed. I feel like I am being tortured all over again that he is not coming to me.

Hi Kat, It's been not even 2 months for me. I feel your pain, probably only us here can say that and truly mean it. My man's parents and sister are the most amazing people I have ever met and it just breaks my heart that they will never be my family (although they've promised me they always will). Everyday I think of the cliff, I haven't found one in my neck of the woods yet. My heart is so beyond broken, some days it's even hard to breathe. I am only 36 and I lost J tragically, accidentally too. I never got to say goodbye. I finally found my person and now he's gone. I honestly will never be happy again, I feel you. Jess

I mean the pain is just so bad, it's getting worse everyday. I have just been going through the motions of life right now, most of the time I just want to go be with him. I miss him. So. Fkn. Much.

Hi Kaleigh, I lost my boyfriend suddenly at the end of November so I can very much relate. We weren't married but that does not matter. People say it gets easier but each day has been a miserable struggle for me. I used to believe in fate like you said, but not so sure anymore. Jess

I don't know how people survive this either. It's been 7 weeks for me and every second day I contemplate going to 'be with him'.

Vancouver, Canada!

Hi Rebecca, Was sudden and accidental for me, just over a month ago now. I never got to say goodbye, I think that is the hardest part for me. Jess

Hi Mikeytee, It's been just 4 weeks for me, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Jeremy to an 'accidental' overdose. I put that in quotations because although he did not intend to kill himself, that is still what happened. I told my mom that if I still feel like this in 6 months I can't possibly go on, there is no point if it's going to be this painful. Everyday is a f#n struggle. I'm back at work even though I don't feel ready but unfortunately life must go on. I too am an empty shell of a person who is missing somebody so much it's beyond words......

I too am EXAXTLY where you are. I'm in the midst of crying myself to sleep as we speak. I am unable to sleep without something to knock me out. All I want to do is talk to him, I can still hear his voice. Week 3 for me and it's the same thing. Every. Single. Day. Jess

It's been 3 weeks since I woke up next to him dead, I can still see his lifeless eyes. I tried to resuscitate him to no avail, as did the paramedics. We are still waiting for the medical examiner report (I am in Canada so everything medical is slower, public healthcare). I am 36 and he was 37, we had just started planning our lives together. I manage to somehow get through the days but every night is the same. Crying for hours and aching with miss and desperation. Nobody knows what to say to me, my mother is doing her best but all she can do is hold me while I sob uncontrollably. People have told me it 'softens over time' or 'in time you will meet someone new', those concepts are just alien to me because all I want to do is be with him. I guess you are the only ones who truly know how I am feeling. I hate life, it's so unfair. How are we supposed to go on??? I wanted to add that we had to put our dog down literally the day before this happened. Diesel had been my dog/best friend for 11 years, I have no children, he was my baby. I haven't even grieved his loss yet. Jess