zachsdad

I'm sorry that we are here having to deal with these struggles. I find myself in similar situations. And from what I heard, you are doing a great job. Yes it gets hard, but again from what you said you are strong and can get through this. My dw of 13yrs passed on 1/3/17. She was consistently sick most of our marriage. I worked mostly graveyard shifts so I could be able to take kids to school, her to the Dr. Appointments, pick up the kids, and do whatever I could to clean up the house. All on 4hrs of sleep average. Why? Because just like you said, for the kids/family. Nowadays it's a whole new set of terms and I am getting through them one day at a time. As far as the family/ friends interference, I'm sorry, one would think that is the last thing you need after such a life changing experience. But it happens to me too. And I don't even begin to think I have a clue how to handle my situation. But you'll get it figured out. You seem like a great father and those kids love you. Keep them in your top priority, helps to motivate you. Good luck, and you can do this.

Ty, for reply, I was beginning to wonder if I did this chatting thing right. I have been thinking about all that. And I know I have rights to have him, but I can't make him. I am still going to pursue visitation rights though for my son's sake. It's been the two of them helping each other out for awhile now and my s misses him so much. I just wanted to make every one happy. But I have been second guessing myself a lot lately.

Hi there, ty for understanding where we are. OK so I am 40, lost my wife of 12 yr lover and friend of almost 14yrs on 1/3/2017. Between us we have two wonderful, yet challenging sons. My ss 16, diagnosed with asphergirs, and our biological son 11, Which was diagnosed with mid spectrum autism at 4 or 5. I love them both equally, my sson and I hadn't seen eye to eye on every thing so at times he was aloud to run to his aunt to cool off, but what was really happening was she was undermining my authority. She would believe him over anyone even my wife. So for 13yrs I was always the bad guy, and she always was better than we were. Because of my W health we were always going to dr or er. I was always trying to do my best to raise the boys, take care of my W, work full time if possible, sleep, and make an attempt at romance. And any time I was asked to do favor for SILs I did the best I could. And still SIL shows no respect to me what so ever. She even started showing SSon that he could disrespect me and get away with it. At one point in our lives SIL convinced W that if something happens to W that SSon should go live with her. Nothing is in writing, and I am open to allow if that is what he wants. However, there's another S, and his feelings to consider. They have been taking care of each other a lot more this last year, and it's confusing my BS why his mom is gone, and not even 2 weeks later he has no big brother. I've got BS going to the counselor at school, I justdon't know what else to do. Both of them have birthday this month, I am not letting my S down, we are going to be at my SSon party tomorrow because that is the most normal part of life for them, having b-day parties for each other, with family. Do I have any rights to visitation of SSon even if it is just so my S gets to be with his brother?? Would it make this worse? I just want best for my boys.

Hi all. I know it's a bit cliche since we hear it all the time, but I want to start by saying I am sorry for your loss. My name is Doug and I just lost my wife of 12 yes on the 3rd. I get what's being said from all parties. I know personally what she is struggling with, my wife was rather sick this whole last year and though we were always romantic, we where not physical. Over the years I had given up on the need for physical intercourse, though I had urges, I also had a guilty conscious. I felt guilty knowing the pain, and physical issues my wife was going through, that I would ask her to put herself in additional discomfort for a simple urge that could just be 'washed away ' so to speak. A few years ago when she got the GP diagnosis, even if we tried to make love I would lose my urge before beginning just because of the process we would go through and the painful expression during intercourse. I lost my confidence in being a man in bed. I know that it's common to get the urge to run right out and test the waters, and in my eyes sometimes it's okay to jump right in, as long as both parties realize that this may well just be that. Testing the waters to see if you are ready for the next step, to see for yourself if you still have what it takes, and to because it has been so long since I've/you've had that complete physical connection with no feelings of guilt about your partner. So justify to yourself if it is time, or feels right, or hold back those urges if you are not ready, just don't look down on yourself for it. It is a test to yourself, and at least you will learn from it.