jgib

Stillwidowed, curious how it went?

Virgo, I am over 50 (53 to be exact) and feel the same way as you. I don’t see it as settling for less then I had but I do know how good things can be. I am not interested in being with someone just to be with someone. i have dipped a toe back into online. Went on to lunch with one and coffee with another. Just never goes any further. I am not willing to go all in on the first meeting. If someone is not interested in getting to know me better so be it. 2 people now have told me I am hard to read......

I think I am going to be on my own from now on. It has been just over 4 years and I am at a new place and a new job and settling in. I know I don’t want to remarry but I thought there may be another relationship in me but I don’t think so now. I miss having someone in my life to share things with. Sure could have used a hug and foot rub yesterday! WW, I understand what you say about a roommate, the company would be nice but I think I am to private and like my space too much now for that. I have had lots of tears and coming to terms with the fact that it will be just me from now on (oh, and my little dogs!).

Well so far, this one sounds like he may be a better choice. A more fulfilling way to send your energy perhaps?

I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this captains wife. Something to think about is that anger can be a mask for other feelings. We can go to “angry” because it can feel like the safe option. Take a bit of time to dig a little deeper under the anger and see what you find. I will say I am not good a practicing what I preach, I find this very difficult to do. So much easier for me to be angry sometimes even though I know there is probably more to it.....

How have you settled in at the new job?

Made the last trip, with the last of my things. I had to go through many of DH things which was trying but it had to be done. Now I am looking forward to planting some flowers and deciding if I want a little veggie garden this year.

I will tell you what I would do, but it surely doesn’t mean it is the right thing..... I would be upfront and say what you have said to us here......That he seemed to spend a lot of time on his phone and that you got the feeling he was hiding it from you. See what he says.... Then you have two choices, believe what he tells you, or get out because it is no fun to be with someone that you don’t think is being truthful with you.

Thanks, I will see how it goes. I was certainly ready for change, where I was sure wasn’t right anymore.

Ice cream all the way! Tulips or daffodils?

Well, almost all moved, not all the boxes are unpacked yet. New job seems good so far. Back in the little town I grew up in so it is a bit odd. Working with people that have never moved away and have been at the same work place for 25 years.....a bit twilight zone sometimes.... Besides the extra effort to get along at work, in those sort of circumstances, I am feeling pretty good. I had not realized how stressed and unhappy I was living in the last place. I notice it most in my dogs, they are so happy and content, obviously not feeling stress from me anymore. I hope the good feeling lasts. I do think I am moving forward even though it is kind of a step back.

Interesting. I personally don’t know any women that don’t like sex. I suppose everyone’s libido is different. As for the question, I feel it is legit if asked and then not brought up again. I think I would like to know early on if a man I was getting close to didn’t like sex, or was unable to have it for whatever reason. I am at that age now where it is a possibility. To me, not having a physical relationship is a strong friendship or companionship. Nothing wrong with that, I have a couple of man friends I am very close to and one I would consider my best friends, we just don’t have close, physical contact. I would like to have the option of deciding whether I wanted to get emotionally closer to someone that wouldn’t be able, or wasn’t willing, to take it to the physical level. I enjoy sex, a lot, and would like it to be part of my next relationship, if that ever happens. Not into one night stands or hook ups but I do think having a sex life is part of a healthy, committed relationship.

THAT is no friend of yours......

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I am taking a break from it at the moment, but I get what you are saying. I made the decision to only talk to one person at a time. If it seemed interesting I would just tell others I was talking to someone already. I am not flirty until I know the direction something is going......lots don’t like that much. The constant texting is totally trying for me as well, I have things to do! I have been told I am tough to read because I don’t jump in with both feet, lock, stock and barrel...... I prefer to take my time, feel things out, get comfortable with things. Not the style of many others..... Like Portside said, do it your way. If someone doesn’t like it, just means the fit is not there. Good luck, you are braver then me to stick with it!