LynnJoyce

I'm Lynn. I lost my dear David six year ago on 25 April, 2011. He died of leukemia, 24 hours after his diagnosis. He was 47 and it was shock. He was my rock, my co-parent of my then 12 year old son and the mentor and advisor to my daughter, just entering college. He was such a good dad; though he wasn't their biological father, he so wanted to be a father and a husband. We miss him every day. YWBB helped me through those first difficult years. Now, looking at the anniversary coming up, I'm feeling the loss yet again. It's been a hard year for me, with breast cancer and several surgeries and having to tell people I'm fine, no, really! Because you're not supposed to deal with stuff like this alone. But really, you have to, because people say things but don't really want to help. There are things I want to do: find a better job, with less stress. Find more friends and a happier life. Figure out how to happy, productive and engaged in creative work. And many days, I'm not sure if that's possible to find. But I will keep looking. Despair is the enemy and the deceiver. Things do change; it's up to me to make sure I'm ready for the next thing. Good to find this place again. Hope I can be helpful. ~Lynn

I am ending the fifth year, looking at the anniversary coming up. The loss is still something I feel every day, though the complete and utter grief is more like a dull ache. This last year was traumatic in a new way, when it was discovered I had breast cancer. Several surgeries later, I'm good, I'm okay, getting better and stronger. But the sadness is back and the anxiety. It seems like new traumas hit the old ones and cause echoes of the pain.

I'm just back now, too. This site was a godsend when my husband died six years ago (leukemia). I'm in a new place emotionally and a difficult place personally, trying to figure out "what next?" Glad to find this replacement for ywbb. ~ Lynn

I'm six years out and I know these feelings. I ended it with someone who I was only seeing on weekends and it gave me more time to develop different friendships and to figure out my life. You are allowed to change your mind. It's alright to take a step back from things. It's very necessary, especially if your body is telling you that it cannot take this stress. People who are changing need extra room and extra time for themselves. This is natural and normal. It's hard for me to figure out a life when the role of "wife" is over. It was so much a part of me for so many years, a good part, but still, over. There are not many good role models. For myself, I'm reading more. Ending my longterm, post widow relationship was difficult but a needful thing. Taking a break from things is important. Give yourself the support you need. Best, Lynn