IAYoungWidow

My situation has been a little different. I went back to work for my outside clients at 3 weeks after, but I also work from home and part time for them. We had a family business as well and I could not let it go by the wayside, so I was handling some of those things all along, which was not easy. I am glad to be able to do all of this from home though, so if I feel like there is a day I can’t handle the outside world or people, I have the option to be home under the blankets and feeling however I need to feel that day.

I too, lost the love of my life, my husband of 15 years, just one month ago. I can tell you that I feel many of the same feelings that you do. My daughter was here with me for the past month, but she has gone back to FL to her own life and career, so I get the loneliness - it truly does suck. I plan to continue to be around this site and hope that it helps me to cope and continue on with my life.

Rob, I can relate to so much of what you have said. I too, have had moments when I just couldn't be in the house that my husband and I made a life together for 14 years, so I took several little trips with my daughter, who was here with me for this first (very hard) month. She is gone now and while there is a part of me that wants to start to get rid of his things and make some changes, a part of me feels guilty for wanting to do so. I do not sleep well either; unless I take the Trazadone that is prescribed for me, and even then sometimes it is 1:00 am and I am still awake. In those moments when I fall asleep at a decent hour, I am up at 4:00 am. There isn't a day that goes by when I do not shed tears at some point in the day. I have been told that all of this is normal and that things will get better. The people on this forum seem to have the wisdom that I don't right now. Listen and heed some of their words.

This resonates to me so much because not only did we share those bonds, but he literally had a piece of me. I was his kidney organ donor 11 years ago, so we bonded even so much more after that. I truly hope these feelings of loss, emptiness, guilt and overall sadness do go away or at least lessen over time.

Hi I am a 52 yr old who lost her husband of 15 years on October 27th. To say that it was an understatement is putting it mildly. He was in the hospital for a brown heel, ended up with a blood infection that ended in a clot in his left lung that led to cardiac arrest - he was in my arms when he went into cardiac arrest. I can not get that moment out of my head nor can I get over the fact that we didn't get last words together because he never recovered from the cardiac arrest. This was all on top of a rough year to begin with. I lost my father on March 15 and my father in law on August 2nd. I feel as though every single important man in my life is now gone and my head is reeling. Trying to carry on the family business and 3 estates has been incredibly hard. I am blessed that my kids have been fantastic, but they are grown and have to have their own lives, so trying to continue to pick up the pieces and find my new 'normal' has been so hard. Please someone tell me that it gets better. I am now on more anti-depressants and anxiety mess than normal because it is the only way I can sleep at night.