laurie27

@RyanAmysMom Ooooooooo! Very nice, I love them both! I love quilting as it gives me a feeling of making something that will give someone some joy. I made a baby quilt for the receptionist at the dentist office (I needed to stay busy!!!) and she had never gotten a hand made gift, it really made me feel good to know that. Have a great day!

Oh @Bubu27 how awful. That must have made a terrible day even worse. I am 65 and my sister (at 4 and a half months) thinks I should be totally over it. It is amazing that people think this is an easy thing to get over...it's not and I don't know how long it will take. I am so sorry people are making your life harder than it has to be. Hugs to you!

@RyanAmysMom Maybe we should start a photo gallery of our quilting. I would love to see what everyone does. I know I look forward to "Show and Tell" at my local quilt guild meeting to see what everyone else is doing, it keeps me inspired! Here's one of my favorites. I made it as an ode to the Rainbow Bridge. For those who don't know what that is: https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm.

Thanks for the compliments, especially coming from quilters!

Happy Fourth Everyone! I hope this holiday is fun for everyone. I know that some holidays are not, this year I am going with a friend who has 2 kids to see the fireworks, something I haven't done in quite a few years. I do however, always put out my patriotic quilt, named Yankee Doodle because the red fabric has musical notes in it.

Melissa, I have to buy a new car by August and I am really scared, Mark always took care of those decisions. The only thing I know for sure is it will be a lot smaller, which is what I prefer. So congratulations on buying that car! Good for you.

Thank you RyanAmysMom, you get it! When I told my sister how excited I was she couldn't understand why that would be such a big deal. And sudnylsngl, I hope all goes well with the move. 1,000 miles is a long way.

@RyanAmysMom Wow! That is a great accomplishment! Congratulations! For me, I am only at 4 and a half months, my big accomplishment is that I am now eating dinner at the table, instead of standing up at the kitchen sink...or just snacking (and for a life long dieter that is not good!). I am also running the business that we shared and learning how to do the things that he did. I am moving forward with my life, which I know he would have wanted me to do. It's not easy some days, but I am managing.

Great, I'm glad to hear she is doing well.

Thank you for the affirmation Leadfeather. By the way, how is your fiancé? I thought about that trip to the E.R. that you had.

I'm pretty sure I am not alone, but lately (I am at 4 months) I am getting a lot of advice. A lot of reading said I shouldn't make major decisions about moving for about a year if I could stay in my present situation. Well, I have a 3 bedroom/2 bath house on 1/2 acre, I have someone take care of cutting the lawn, I/we always have. I am now getting advice that I should buy a riding lawn mower and start doing it myself. I have never, and I am 65, mowed a lawn. A lot of single (not just widows) women that feel I should start tackling big chores around the house. Staining the deck, power washing the house, mowing the lawn. I don't get it. I am also finding it depressing that these people think I should start doing all these things that I have never done. I feel more empowered making a quilt.

Leadfeather, maybe you need a hug! Here's one for you. I am sorry you are stuck in an ER, always an awful place to be. Here's hoping that it is just vertigo, but since I have that I know that it is not fun. I have had days where the dizziness is really bad and I can do nothing but lay down, but not for quite a while now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi @Melissa brown. I am at 3 and a half months. I still cry every morning. My best days are when I am busy, either with a lot of work (I own my own business), or a lot of sewing. My understanding from everything that I have read is that you become a new person over time. We never forget our love, however, our grief will become a smaller part of our new self over time. One second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Hugs to you. Take care of yourself, and drink plenty of fluids, I know I have been drinking a lot more water than I used to.

Thanks @Bunny, I am a quilter and I have been staying busy sewing. My concentration is not great so I work on charity work or my potholder project, since they are little. Cooking is very hard for me, so I know what you mean about the baking. Everyone on this site has given so much validation that what I am going through is normal and I'm not crazy. Thanks!

Tybec, you did not upset or offend me. This site, or more to the point, the people on this site have helped me so much! I don't think I could have gotten as far as I have without you guys. I had a counselor tell me to get rid of his clothes. I got rid of the jeans, shoes and non-cotton shirts. But I stopped at the cotton and flannel. I am going to make a quilt, but I am not ready yet...So I work on other things to keep my hands busy. Like my potholder project. They are little and I can get them done in about an hour or two. Unlike a whole quilt that can take a couple of months. Here, take a look, they are cheery!

I can't imagine getting through Christmas this year. My LH birthday was Nov. 25th, my birthday is Dec. 24, obviously Christmas is the 25th and our anniversary is the 27th. My Christmas cookies were a big deal. I made Butter cookies with lemon curd filling and topped them with drizzled chocolate. My LH usually made the lemon curd and put the sandwiches together. I don't know if I can make them this year...or if I can even decorate the house. I don't have children to think about, so maybe I'll do nothing. I just don't know yet. Hugs to everyone...we all need them.

Love2fish, what a beautiful memory project. Thank you for sharing it with us. When I finish the memory quilt I will be sure to post it.

@Julester3 Thank you for your posts, they have helped me so much. But you are so right, one second, one minute, and so on. I am three and a half months out, and I still cry every day. And speaking of busy I think I am going to start a new quilt this weekend. A friend of mine gave me some fabric so I would do just that and I think it's a good time. Hugs to all of us! We all need them.

Oh Cassie, As Love2fish says I am so sorry that you have joined a club nobody wants to be in. I know I sure don't. My loss is also recent only February 19th, but I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. He was so young. However, you will go on, especially since you have the children that depend on you. The biggest trick I have found is staying busy...not always easy, but I try. I am a quilter, so I have been doing a lot of charity work. That and I cry a lot, don't forget to stay hydrated. I am glad you found WIDDA, it has been my saving grace know that I am not crazy for what I am going through, it is normal. Hugs to you and your children.

Hello Gemma, As Hachi said, welcome to a club that no one wants to join. Let me give you some hugs, as I am sure you need them. Ten days is not a very long time and I am sure you are still in shock. I know I still feel that way sometimes. Today was three months for me, My biggest tip (at least for me) is to stay busy. I like to sew, however, my concentration was, let's just say not my best, so I did a LOT of charity work, just to keep my hands busy. I still cry a lot, however, because of coming to this website all the time, I find that it is normal and I don't feel like I am being weird. And yes, everything, no matter how little it seems, that you can do will be a victory. In the beginning (that first month), I tried to leave the house every day...but I gave myself permission that if I got half way somewhere and couldn't do it, I could always come home. I made it to somewhere most of the time. Anyway it helped me to connect with someone else at least once a day. Remember, to take care of yourself, and to stay hydrated.

Congratulations! Here's wishing you a lot of happiness. And, yes, I understand the guilt feelings, but try to put that away as it will only drag you down, and you don't want or need that.

I saw this on a friends facebook page and I thought it is so true. Mark will always be a part of who I am. There are things I did in life that I never would have imagined in my twenties. And I mean that in a very good way. Thank you for sharing this video.

I was thinking about everyone today with Mother's Day coming up. For me it's not a big holiday, as I lost my mother 47 years ago. But I was thinking of all of you as you have been so helpful to me going through this incredibly difficult journey. I wanted to give hugs and good thoughts, and prayers to all of you. Take care of yourselves this weekend.

@soloact and @Bubu27. I thank you for commenting to my post. I did get rid of his jeans and some t-shirts, however, I stood my ground on the shirts I want to use for the memory quilt, and I am so glad I did. The way all of the members of this site supported my decision made it so much easier. Because you are so right @soloact, that first week, when I was still in shock, my sister got rid of all his underwear and socks and shorts, just cleaned out his dresser drawers and his jewelry box. I am still so mad about it, I had a hard time talking to her for a while. But done is done, at least she didn't get rid of anything important, but she really shouldn't have touched any of that stuff, it was mine to do in my own time. Hugs to everyone here, we all need them.

Thanks for the affirmation of my decision, I have decided to keep the cotton shirts to make the quilt top, and then all the flannel and fleece shirts I am going to sew together to make the backer. I think that will keep me comfy come the winter time. I also think the process of making the quilt will bring back beautiful memories. Mark liked to help me pick out fabrics and since he had a great sense of color, it was a big help. I'll post a picture of it when it is done. Might be this year, but I may not be able to do it until next year. We'll see how it goes. It's been almost three months for me since I lost Mark, however, I am trying to remember the good memories, the fun vacations, times when he didn't hurt so much. I still cry a lot, but from reading this forum I know this to be normal. I don't know how I could be where I am now without all of the support I have received from all of you. Thanks and Hugs to everyone!