Grammy

BSK it's hard for me to think of myself as an elder but after 8 years of finding my way in this journey I am afraid that is what I have become. It is evidenced in my user name. I hope to stop up here as well. (Hugs) and love. I am pleased to see others who helped me so much in the darkness here as well Lol

The used to be Little things are now significant accomplishments. I can use this thread right now. So today I went grocery shopping and ran into my oldest sons ex-in-laws. I tried to go the other direction but the other Grandma called out to me. Let it be said, there were ##### thoughts going through my head and I somehow played nicely with others. Last week she called me up and told me, "After all Dear, You KNOW your not a Grandmother so Zoey must come to my house for Sunday dinner." I just hung up on her and told my son to deal with it. So running into her "On a date to a local festival and dinner with her loving Husband because Intimacy is so much better now that the kids are grown." So my not telling these people from another reality how the world is, was a big accomplishment for the day. And I showered and put on makeup so I did not scare people. LOL! (((((Hugs))))) and Love to All! Grammy or Nanc Be Gentle with Yourself

I love this post and I am a bit over 8 years. Forgiving yourself is hard for me. I forgive my husband most of the time, but I still get madder than hell at him sometimes for leaving me to deal with all this shit. The family stuff still goes on and he dealt with it all until his death. Some days I actually yell at the sky "Who the hell left me in charge? and that the hell were they thinking?" So forgiving myself is so hard and essential. I have to go..... But I will be back to this group. I hope I can pass on some of the love and (((((Hugs)))))) that ywbb provided me. I used to be a young widow but these days I am just Grammy to all. (((((hugs)))))) and Love Grammy or Nanc (I forget to answer to Nancy now ) Be Gentle with Yourself

I have some thoughts and suggestions for this post. I am trying to get a post together. I keep running out of time and losing my posts. I promise to set time out for longer and try again maybe tonight when I am less frustrated. In the mean time..... as I am telling myself..... "Be gentle with yourself" ((((Hugs)))) and love to all my new and old friends. Nancy

ATJ, I am glad you sent that pm. Your words helped me so much during the early years. I will always think of ywbb as home a grounding place for me. Sleepless nights I would just go there and read and find so many feeling like me past couple years. I am glad this place was created to help others, my heart breaks for the newbies. I hope to help them as much as I can. ((((Hugs)))) and Love always to us all. Nancy

ATJ This is so beautifully written. I was crying when I read it and immediately knew that this was a person that helped me through the early years. I missed those beautiful written words, quotes for my mirror and the pictures. I am glad to see friends here. I really missed you all. ((((Hugs)))) and Many Many Thanks

Hi and ((((Hugs)))) to All. I am Nancy Myers from Phoenix, AZ. I lost my husband John on January 31, 2007 to heart disease. I stumbled across the board in April 2007 on a sleepless night. I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, January 5, 2013 and forgot many things like my username and password, but have been active in a few FB groups. So, where do I begin? My DH had a major heart attack, bypass X7, damage to 90% of his heart in July 1995 so really I should have been prepared if that is possible. But he recovered and somehow during that time, death did not seem to be in the future. He just lived for the day when both of our boys were finally grown and out of the house. He was a manager at a towing company doing Police impound work when he was short of help one night and went out on a nearby freeway to pick up a vehicle from a DUI arrest. The DPS officer left the scene to grab lunch and a drunk driver drove up the back of the flat bed tow truck, and luckily he was bending over because her car drove over his head and body in May 2003. He was in critical condition with broken hips, legs, arms, ribs, ect. but came home to recover in August. He continued to recover until August 2006 when he finally got back to work part time. He was not able to drive but had been in the office most of the time anyhow for his job and very happy to get out of the house. He worked for 8 days when it was time to move my youngest son down to the dorm at the UofA. We spent the day together as a family and drove home having dinner out on the way. We were sitting down just getting relaxed from the drive and talking about his goal of "Finally being alone together with No kids in the House" and planning our 20th Anniversary celebration with a long overdo honeymoon in Hawaii in February. But he suddenly didn't feel well, and I ended up calling the neighbor who was a local paramedic. He had his first of many heart attacks that were to become the end. We lived over 30 miles from the nearest hospital at the time and ended up staying with his Mom in the mobile we bought her 1 mile from the new at the time heart hospital in September to be safe. We sold our town home in December and I bought a defibulator (sp) that insurance didn't cover in January. He was mad that I spent the money, but I wanted him to continue living. I hope that this makes some measure of sense and that I can participate here. It feels like home for me. Oh, I became a Grammy March 15, 2010 to a beautiful grand daughter Zoey. She looks like a mini me but has her Grandpa's beautiful blue eyes and eye lashes that look like false ones. (Really I am so so jealous. Both of my boys got the baby blues and eyelashes from their Dad) Her Mother left her with my son and wanted a divorce when she was 5 months old. I had been laid off and was starting a new job on Monday of that week but put off the start date for a month and cared for her while what was going on with my son and his then wife was to get sorted out. Honestly I expected her Mom to take a week and come back at least for her? But she did not come back into her life until she was 3 1/2 years. I had been in a room mate situation (no benefits) with an old friend for a couple of years and ended up moving in with my oldest son and being Grammy. Now her Mom takes her 2 days a week around half of the time. My younger son, just laughs and says that I am back as a Mom again. So I am a proud now 52 year old Grammy to a beautiful 5 year old.

I am in the east valley and may be up to bago u am tied up for a month or so. Sounds fantastic! ;D