theheneghans

It's been awhile since I've felt I needed to post, but I've been reading this whole time. It's been 9 months for me, and sometimes I feel almost normal again. The waves don't come as strongly as they once did, and I can actually find real joy in life these days. I've been seeing someone since the beginning of February, and it's been going so, so well. I haven't cried in so long, though I think about Brett everyday. And then this morning I had a dream. I used to have dreams about Brett all the time, and we always acknowledged his death and spent the dream holding onto each other, like we knew our time was limited. I don't know what I believe about god and an afterlife, but I've always believed that these dreams were Brett's way of reaching out to me. I'd started to fear that his energy was finally gone since it had been so long since he'd visited. This dream was like the others. I told him it felt like I hadn't gotten to talk to him in so long, I was so happy to see him, and I couldn't let go of him. I got to see his face, his smile, feel his arms, hear his voice. It was like everything I needed that I didn't know I was needing. And then I woke up. It all came rushing back. In the beginning, last summer, I would count the Mondays since I'd lost him, since he died on a Monday. I stopped doing that after our son was born, but I counted them today. 40 weeks. It's been 40 weeks since Brett died, and I miss him just as much today as I did that day in June when everything crashed down around me. I've been crying off and on all morning. Luckily, I have counseling today, but man, when those waves crash, they really, really crash, don't they?

(((Baylee))) It's hard for me to conjure up any words.

My son is only 5.5 months old, but at the 4 month appointment, the pediatrician said he's developmentally like a 6 month old. He's so close to being mobile and can sit on his own now. He's such a funny, sweet, happy guy. I really can't wait to see what he can do as he grows.

(((Baylee))) This was beautifully written.

Same name as on YWBB. I'm Kristina, I'm 30. I was 29 years old and 6 months pregnant when I lost my husband, Brett, in June of last year. I found his body when I returned from work. He was 29. We'd been together only a little over a year and married only 37 days. We had a whirlwind romance that began at our high school reunion in April 2013. I had our son, Q, in September, and in October, we finally found out cause of death (Long QT). I'm going on 9 months without him and honestly everyday is easier, but I still have moments where I miss him so much I can't breathe. So glad to have found this place! YWBB helped me so much for so long, and now it's harder to post and read with an almost 6 month old, but just so so happy that this place exists.