GoodyTwoShooz

great post Serpico. I am adding to my book Lust List. Some of my recent favorites are "Life after Life" by Kate Atkinson "Brief and wonderful life of Walter Woo" by Junot Diaz "Let's pretend this never happened" by Jenny Lawson- if you are offended by the f-word I would skip this one😜 "You Suck" by Christopher Moore Erin

SugarBell and I are planning a bago somewhere in the Coumbus area For Saturday November 7. We are both planning on bringing our kids -ages ranging from 8-13- I dont post too much here so Im not sure to might be from the area and wish to come. I'll post later once we have a place decided. Erin

So my son won his elementary schools 5 and 6Th grade spelling bee. I was so excited for him and for my self but the excitement was quickly deflated when I realized I had no one to really tell. The only other two people who would really give a shit are dead- his father and my mother.

Hi SB Great idea. My kiddos and I would love to go. I like the idea of camping/cabins at either Hocking Hills or the Gorge. When were you thinking? A weekend bago or something after school lets out? Erin

I also didn't get to see my husband's body after he died. He was in California and we live in Ohio. His body was cremated in CA before it came home. About three months, I did call the police officer in charge of the case and asked to see the crime scene photos. I know it was morbid and even told the officer as much, but I needed to know. She was very understanding and I appreciated her sensitivity. My husband hung himself and the pictures werent as horrible as some manner of suicides might be. For me, it helped bring about some closure. In the end, you know he is gone and seeing something like this might really effect you negatively. It took about another month to be able to look at the disc and a few more weeks to look at all of the photos. We are all very different and I think you are getting some great perspective here. Good Luck in whatever you decide. Erin

It does seem impossible and utter madness. And I am sorry you have lost your husband to this horrible illness. Our loss is different. You can try to wrap your head around suicide from a thousand different perspectives. It will Never make sense. I'm not sure how far you are out but I felt some relief from the anger, depression, and guilt after I started thinking of my dh suicide as a result from a brain illness. An illness, like undetected heart disease that has had unfortunate and dire consequences. I Know without a doubt how much my dh loved his children, there is nothing in this world that meant more to him. So when I think that whatever happened in his brain the night he died, I know he wasn't in his right mind, wasn't thinking of them or me. I didn't know, you didn't know and even if you knew things we rent quite right for your husband, in all likelihood there is nothing you could have done to stop it. No one person is all that powerful against such a powerful illness. Take a deep breath, and try to go easy on yourself. Erin

Fleur I will second or third the thought that its important to stay. We did meet so long ago at a Ft Lauderdale bago in 2010. Makes me miss Raymond just thinking about it. I dont post very often but still read on those difficult nights. Sometimes reach out to those who might live close to me. I am at 5.5 years out and think our perspective is so essential to share with other newer wids, even if it is only sporadically. Glad to hear you are doing well and still coming here. Erin