Ok. I feel like I have to come clean because all of you were so supportive of me when I posted earlier this summer. I was strong and I stayed away, didn't answe texts or calls. Then came the crazy week, my SIL and niece came to visit, they brought me F's ashes because for some reason, after he died, I couldn't bear to have them in my house. I stayed up all night with my F's ashes drinking Bloody Mary's, crying, laughing, and apparently texting the boy, passing out and waking up with my jammies inside out and backward. The next day, while cleaning all of F's hoards out of my garage, my texts started pinging, leading me to read the texts I had sent the night before. Horrified and hung over, emotionally spent from purging F's stuff, I agreed to see HIM. He told me that he was sorry, that he went on one miserable date and that he couldn't really give me a good answer for why he kept looking after we reconnected. I played it cool, or at least as cool as I know how to be. We saw each other a couple of more times and then ended up making out like teenagers. It's been a little over a month, and he has been amazing to me. Somehow the tables have turned and he wants me to be exclusive, we see each other as often as our schedules and parenting permit. He keeps telling me how haunted, yes, he uses that word, that he is that he almost ruined his chances with me. Am I being silly to believe him? My gut tells me he is sincere. And he's supported me through finding a nanny and some unpleasant interactions with my family. I really like him. I want to believe him. I don't get that nagging feeling that he is insincere, but could that just be my widow brain?