Virgo

This isn't something that I have experienced, but I wanted to say congratulations on your newest addition to your family. 

How is the dating scene going for everyone? It has been pretty quiet in here. 

I'm still on my break too. Just focusing on home improvement projects and myself. I occasionally go out on lunch dates, but I'm not looking for it to progress into anything. It's just food with company for me at this point. 

Good for you! 

Congratulations!!!

My daughters and I choose to celebrate his birthday and not to acknowledge his death date. He died one week after his birthday. The 28th would have been his 45th birthday. I wanted to do something special for my girls so I ordered them rings with his birthstone. I'm going to have them engraved, but I'm trying to decide what to have engraved. Maybe his nicknames for them and his birthday? His initials, their initials, and his birthday? I don't know. I'm excited though. They of course just think we're going out for dinner. We usually go to one of his favorite restaurants. I also donate blood around his birthday. My middle daughter started donating with me.

What do you do for your spouse's birthday?

1. Hugged parents who lost their 26 year old son this week. It stirred up some bad memories. 

2. Watched my Vikings lose to the 49ers. 

3. Watched my Blackhawks win against the Ducks. 

Pretty chill, lazy evening. I was avoiding everyone and everything. I'll be productive tomorrow. 

I'm back to feeling uninterested and flippant about dating. A little numb actually. Not down, just done. I'm tired of being disappointed. 

10 hours ago, twin_mom said:

I got "spoken to" by MIL for not bringing NG with me to celebrate Christmas with her- but he opts to stay home as he's not comfortable going for holidays...

It's wonderful that they are open to accepting him though. Maybe in time he will be more comfortable. I'm glad my inlaws feel that way. They love me like a daughter and truly want me to be happy. 

On 12/9/2019 at 11:13 PM, Virgo said:

Almost to good to be true. 

It was. I was right.

The weight of managing everything on our own does catch up with us. Crying is inevitable. It is too much at times. Very relatable! I tell my close friends quite often that my soul is exhausted. 

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations!

1. Wrapped presents for our last Christmas celebration. Yes I procrastinated on the wrapping!

2. Made it through my inlaws Christmas as the only single adult. My inlaws I think are to the point where they are hoping to see me bring someone with me. 

3. Cleaned my room. The holiday mess and decorations are gone. 

I felt the moment my husband died too. I'm so sorry for your loss. The "what if's" we torture ourselves with are pure hell. We can't think about it like that. 

I'm sorry you all have had to deal with that. It has to make your grieving even more difficult. My inlaws are the opposite. I remember my mil holding me while I screamed and cried uncontrollably that first night at home. I blamed myself. I kept screaming about things I could have said or done to change the outcome. My husband died at the Simon cancer center in Indianapolis. My mil reassured me that it wasn't my fault. That I couldn't have done anything differently. She and everyone else knew how much I loved and cared for him throughout our whole marriage and how supportive I was throughout his treatments. She still tells me that. My fil does too. They said they lost a son, but gained a daughter. His sisters call me their sister too. Truly blessed. 

Just keep posting your thoughts here. We know how you feel. Grief is an emotional roller coaster. 

He sounds persistent, wow! Tell him to lose your number. 

My guy told me last night that I really need to learn how to relax. That I don't have to do everything by myself anymore. 

It has been so long since someone has really considered my needs. It feels good. 

I think a lot of people believe in love at first sight, especially men. If all he talked about was sex though I highly doubt that was the case. My LH said it was love at first sight for him. It wasn't for me. I think there can be an instant connection, but love grows. I've had this conversation multiple times with male and female friends. It's interesting hearing everyone's opinions on the topic.

I've been seeing someone exclusively for a little over a month now. It's moving faster than I typically do, but it feels very comfortable. Almost to good to be true. He believes in love at first sight.

It's perfectly fine to take breaks from dating. It can be underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. 

I went shopping with my daughters yesterday and ran into a guy who I've been messaging. We actually had a dinner date Tuesday. He ended up walking around the mall and eating dinner with us. I'm not sure how I feel about that. We all had a great time though. 

Stillwidowed, that seems to be the norm. Very underwhelming. I don't think it's always nefarious intentions though. I think for some men it's just an easier and less expensive option. 

I had three men ask me out tonight. None of which were the impromptu guy I've been seeing. 

I think the fact that you want to keep looking says a lot. You said that you struggle to communicate with each other, but I would talk to him about how you're feeling. Maybe he's feeling the same way.

I think some sort of communication before (texting or calling) will help you determine if you want to meet them for a coffee date. 

Tybec, I can understand not wanting to move your son. I feel the same way about not moving while my daughters are still in school. How are the new options coming along?

I've been seeing the impromptu guy more. I enjoy spending time with him. He seems to be at the same pace as me, slow. It's refreshing. 

Ask the Mustang lover if he's interested in a 2001 Cobra. Ha! Just kidding. I still haven't ventured into online dating. I post here because it's really the only dating discussion. The closest I've been to online dating is being approached on Facebook. 

I've been out 3 more times with the impromptu lunch guy. Two movies, two lunches. He's an interesting guy. I'm enjoying spending time with him. Easy on the eyes too. 

I was approached by a guy at Walmart in front of my girls. They thought it was hilarious. I knew him from the gym that Phil and I went to, so he wasn't a stranger. He said he moved out of the area, never sees me anymore, so he asked for my contact information. My girls held in the giggling until after he walked away. 

Very true Arneal. 

I had an impromptu lunch date yesterday with a guy I ran into two weeks ago in a grocery store parking lot. We are friends on Facebook because of mutual friends, but that was our first time meeting in person. We started messaging each other daily since then. Yesterday he asked if I could meet him for lunch. Conversation flowed easily. We're still messaging, but no mention of a second date yet. We'll see what happens.