Mrskro

Klim;

It's funny how different people are.  I think I could do the Caribbean solo no problem.  Now camping alone would scare the daylights out of me.  Good for you!  And maybe a great start for you.

TooSoon!  Congrats.  I get it, it doesn't sound stupid at all.  I couldn't use mine at all, my DH died in it.  I had to gut the whole thing.

I think its a huge thing for all of us to conquer those "things"

There are no words sufficient to express my sorrow for you and your daughter and son in law.  My hearts breaks for you all.  Praying for you

Right there with you CanadianGirl.    I need that same formula energy+time+motivation.  I can somehow maybe manage 2 of the 3 but not all of them.    I don't think its failing.  I've decided its prioritizing.  So what if the dishes and dusting don't get done on a timely basis.  Fuck em.

So this just happened.  Was I too subtle about the skipping the dating part?

Him:  hi there. How is your search going?

ME: Oh you know it's internet dating lol. How is yours going?

Him:  Same. I think people like to hide behind their phones:) looking to meet someone. You?

Me:  Oh I definitely agree. But on the flip side I've found a lot of people aren't actually interested in the dating part either, so it's easier to hide behind a phone until you get a feel for someone.

Him:  Are you open to a lover ongoing. One fit and passionate male

UMMM WHAT?!?!?

Me:  Nope, I need the dating part first. But good luck in your search

Hannah;

I can relate to hating the word strong.  I continually got "you are the strongest person I know",  and I firmly believe people say it so they can believe that everything is great and they don't need to step and doing anything. 

Go easy on yourself.  Sometimes we all need to practice a little avoidance.  I don't think it is being weak, it's being human. 

Hugs

I think Kater said it all "I figure it took her decades to build her life.  We are pretty much starting over"

I spent 15 years learning how to work with DH, splitting chores, doing what we liked to do, and splitting the rest.  I spent 15 years not having to lug the stupid weed wacker around the yard. 

We didn't necessarily define things by gender roles, but I know I damn sure miss having someone to call to pick up milk because I forgot to.

edited because I posted at the same time as MrsDan....don't get me started on the phone calls.  That was so not my department.  I still have cable channels my DH watched because calling to cancel seems to daunting.

Another loner here.  I'm not as far out, just coming up on 2 years.  My DH was the life of the party, always arranging events, parties, he made sure we had an active social life.  My circle has considerable shrunk.  Some of it was me, I don't need acquaintances, a lot of our friends I just didn't have that much in common with.  We live in a smaller town and all of our friends here went to high school together.  I got really tired of dealing high school drama in my 40's so stepped away.  Unfortunately, the "mean girl" is the one I stepped away from and honestly the rest are afraid to cross her, so our contact is minimal.  I'm busy and tired and don't have a lot of energy to put into a big social life.  Its funny, my DH's best friend, that I wasn't all that keen on is now a huge part of our lives, probably more now. 

I lost my dad at the beginning of the year, and it really set me back.  I'm not sure if it's unhealthy or not but I need to talk to my DH too. 

I don't have any experience with the boyfriend part, as I've been unable to let anyone get that close to begin with. 

I know I need to get out and try and cultivate some relationships but it just seems like too much work.

From another spectacular panicker, I second Trying

Breathe!  You've got this.  I'd love to know why I react this way too, but I believe you already said it.  Fear of the unknown and control.

Send hugs and good thoughts!

http://widda.org/index.php/topic,697.msg16301.html#msg16301

I didn't re-read the thread but memory serves there were great money saving tips here

I'm sorry you are dealing with this too.

His name was Robert, after generations of men before him and my son.  We called him Rob, Rkro, Kro, Daddy, Dad, Robbie, love.  My DD started calling him Bob as soon as she could talk and wouldn't stop until I started calling him Daddy too. 

I really miss that almost no one but me says his name anymore.

I agree with Rayspumpkin,  I've cut off all of my toxic family members (mostly my own sister and brother) and definitely went on a fuck it spree.  It was very liberating.  Even my kids are happier not having to deal with them. 

As a sports mom, I would have to nix the coach too. 

I get the "little close for comfort"  but sometimes its not a bad thing.  Good luck!

I am smartassy, so I think it's probably better to get it out there in the beginning of my profile. 

But I can see Portside's side of things.  Men and women do look at things a bit differently.  I can see how having the opposite sex help write a profile may help.

I will say you've all given me a kick in the pants to re-write mine.

tofinoMan;

I second all your fucks.  I just don't get why people #1 think that you can just "move on" and #2 why I need to date in order to have a life and be happy.

Fuck them all

Bumping this back up.  We've had quite a few people join us lately.

Sending hugs.  I'm coming up on two years as well.  It still seems surreal. 

I'm sorry you are having a day.  So many triggers for you!  Sending hugs.

I'm almost two years out and still can't bring myself to cancel his phone!

I'm going on two years too and feel similar, just alone.  I don't really fit in anywhere,  I've changed and yet I'm still unsure who I'm going to be. 

Wishing you peace.

Congratulations to you both!

I'm sorry to hear you are having a bad day.  I understand the feeling of isolation.  Unfortunately; I have found not many people understand what we have been through.  And I understand that feeling of no one having your back.  I'm sorry you've experienced it too.

I'm glad you found us.  I believe you will find we understand and don't condemn. 

Virtual hugs

Mike;

I read this and thought along the same lines.  What about the young widowers?  I read somewhere that the numbers are skewed something like 7 to 1 widow to widower, but still why exclude them? 

I would think its equally as important to get their stories.

stillwidowed;

I'm with you, bad teeth is a deal breaker for me. 

Dean;

I'm so sorry you are still struggling.  I found and still find, that family events are such a double edge sword and I always fall into a funk afterwards.  I have found it's gotten easier as time has gone on but still not high on my to do lists. 

I found my first year was only about surviving.  It was until year two that I started to realize I need to make another life for myself.  Not that I've managed to do much toward that goal yet, but the hope is there.

Hugs

Klim;  I've also contacted guys online and it's never resulted in a date.