I totally get it. I'm 9 years out and I am still living in an alternate universe from all the couples out there. I can quote you how many kids have a parent die before they graduate high school (it's 5%). I'm not a ray of sunshine. Friends that I had from before dh's death, don't really understand, or for some of them, tried and have given up trying to understand why I have changed. The death of someone so close to you that they are a part of you, must change your outlook on life (and death). I seem to get a long better with people who I've met since dh's passing. They don't bring up dh. They haven't seen a change in me. So, everything's hunky dory. For those people who have seen a change, it's probably uncomfortable for them to see the after effects of losing a spouse. They don't want to admit that the same thing could happen to them. So, because I've changed, I must be doing something wrong. I should be back to who I was before, but that person is long gone.