piecesofapart

My dress hangs in the closet next to the suit my husband wore on our wedding day. It's a simple white lace dress that I got at Dress Barn for $60 (in 1996). We got married in Bermuda on a cliff overlooking the ocean- so I did not need anything elaborate. Even got to wear it twice since we had our wedding reception a week later when we returned from getting married/having our honeymoon. ..not sure what I will do going forward, but for now, I like that they are hanging out together ;-D

Thanks everyone...appreciate it...and as sad as it is..glad we have each other for support. Having a better week..hope it sticks for a while- because once I'm back in the pit...it gets deep... and your support here helps me climb out...or stay sane until I can gather the mindset to climb out again... Wishing you all peace....

For us wids without children... have you thought who will be in charge of your will and funds? I figured my parents would be basket cases- so I chose my sister, but sadly she passed last Aug. I tried to think of someone who would be level headed- and who I should have on my bank accounts as POD (payee on death) and beneficiary on my other accounts. Sadly (but a blessing in disguise) I got to see how my niece/God daughter handled her mother's (my sister's passing. Hands down she is very level headed and practical. It was hard to ask her- since her mother passed- but I felt I had to get my accounts in order. (Sadly my sister passed unexpectedly- but by God's grace peacefully in her sleep). (She was only in her early 50's)- no one knew she was sick- but smoking for nearly 40 years and bad health habits/eating choices played a huge role in the end. So I realized I needed to get my accounts in order and make it easy on my family when my time comes- as we all know- you never know tomorrow... I told my niece to give me a simple funeral-and set my ashes free/along with my husbands who I keep here in my home (becasue sadly -they too will have no place to go once I am gone) Asked her to divide my money equally among my immediate family. But before they reieve even one dollar they have to do a great act of kindness. I told her- each family member can decide what they deem "a great act of kindness"... That's how far I've gotton...anything else I am forgetting? What have you all done?

Anyone else color for grief? I started about a year and a half ago- and it's been my sanity. I've found this to be true... Coloring Reduces Stress And Anxiety Coloring allows relaxation of the center right hemisphere of your brain ? (which is the processing area of negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety and sadness). The relaxation continues even after you are done coloring since that part of your brain is rested and can help reduce your stress level overall. Coloring is a free time, meditative, activity, that you can schedule, making it perfect for retraining your brain to respond less harshly to stress. Coloring Trains Your Brain To Focus Staying inside the lines takes focus, but not so much that it's stressful. Coloring opens up the frontal lobe ? which is the brain?s home base for organizing and problem solving. It helps to focuses the mind by allowing the person coloring to forget their worries since your task is only to select a color first and then your main focus is staying within the lines. *Being able to live in the moment is a critical skill, and coloring trains you to put everything else aside for the time you spend doing it. Try it..I think you'll be amazed...

My heart goes out to you and your children. I lost my husband of 17 years in Aug. 2013 to suicide. He tried 7-8 times before- but made sure this last time it would be it. We too had a horrible fight the last time I saw him- thankfully he did call two days later and I did get to tell him I loved him. The next day he still went thru with his plan. Actually the fight was about him wanting to kill himself and how he would do it so his mom would find him- and that's exactly what happened. I felt tremendous gulit- almost to the point of destroying me- but guilt gets you nowhere. When someone is as sick as they are- they are going to do what they are going to do- their mind is sick to the point it's fatal. My heart hurts for the life journey you are going to have to take...someone told me to make friends with my grief- since it's going to be around a long time..after I accepted I was going to feel the way I was going to feel- it helped...its been said here to- that sometimes you just have to sit in your grief. Someone else here has a tagline- that says- she did not want her husband's legacy to be that it destroyed her. Good advise... Glad you found this board...out of everything out there- the group of SOS's here are the ones I've gained the most support from- and that have been my sanity. I hope I too can make good of my situation and support those who come after me... Wishing you peace....

Hoping today you've had some moments of hope. Sadly I felt the same way you do- about 2 years ago- I lost my husband of 17 years in Aug. 2013. It's hard to know what to do- but if we carry on..one deep breath at a time we will find a way....wishing you peace...

Hi All, Just feel the need to be around those who truly get it. Your posts have helped me so very much. I was doing well for a while and now it's just hitting me hard again. (I was a part of the first boards- as "OneNow" and then when this new board started I was "HoldingOn"- but I forgot the password and closed the e-mail associated with it..in any case- I had to re-join- so here I am as Pieces-of-"a/part". I know it's not healthy to go round and round about what happened- on that day- and the weeks/days leading up- but I guess my brain still wants to /needs to process it? My husband of 17 years (together 20 years) passed on about 2 years and 8 months ago. He was mentally ill for almost all of our time together- the last 3 the worst. The last year he was just so sick- hardly ate or went out- stayed in bed most of the day. I knew it was going to come...he tried many times before- but this last time he made sure it would be the last time. I still beat myself up about the things I did/said - and it kills me I can't go back and change them. The other day I was lost in thoughts and I heard his voice say..If your love could have saved me- I would have been the happiest person. So I am holding on to that..but some days it still just gets to me.... Anyway, just wanted to say Hi again- and I hope I can be the support you've all been to me at some point...and here's to better days.. as they will surely come...hopefully sooner than later...