Unexpected triggers continue to surprise me...

[ManutesGirl]

4 years ago DH was finally home and in hospice...we watched the Women's World Cup together.  Not nearly as much fun to watch by myself.

[donswife]

the unexpected triggers , hate them

sorry it happened to you

for me I was assembling a big fan today

just the fact that I needed one more person just to hold it so I could screw in a part brought me to tears

plus Don would've had that sucker put together in seconds, took me about an hour

[Virgo]

Feels like a slap in the face sometimes. I got slapped today while I was at the bank cashing a check from my insurance company.

Lady: How can I help you today?

Me: I would like to cash this check.

Lady: Your account #?

Me: xxxxxx

Lady: This is made out to you and Philip. He has to sign under your name.

Me: He died last year. (damn)

Lady: Oh, I'm sorry. Just sign his name under yours and put his date of death beside it.

 

Wonderful, thanks! If my daughters wouldn't have been waiting out in the Jeep for me I probably would have cried.

[conflicted]

It seems every little thing is a trigger for me. The biggest one for me is - though I moved to a different town 30 minutes away, I still work in the same town where DH and I used to have a condo. So I have to drive through our old town almost every fucking day.

 

Songs....I have to shut off the radio sometimes just to avoid a meltdown when one of our songs comes on. 

Stuff....I still have some of our old furniture, appliances, and other little things we shared together. Getting a pen out of the cabinet or simply turning on the lamp gets me down. I haven't used my stove in my new apt in the 8 months I've been there. I can't bear to use the same pots/pans and dishes without DH there to serve dinner to. My new microwave has served me each night. 

Pet....I love my cat like he was my child (I would anyway). But there is another deeper love for my pet, since DH loved our cat and used to spend many nights falling asleep with him.

 

[Jen]

Triggers, flashbacks... Ugh, just ugh. Sometimes they're even good things-- like today I found out that Berke Breathed has started writing/drawing Bloom County again. I'm thrilled-- that was something Jim and I bonded over back in junior high! Then of course I had to cry, because he's not here to be excited with me. Sigh. It never goes away, does it?