ManutesGirl

This was the first year I didn't post a picture of us on our anniversary. I may do that in the future but who knows. I always post on the anniversary of his death. He mattered and I want people to remember that. For me that's about all I do...some cause I like keeping it to myself but some because I don't want to deal with people judging.

It's hard to believe that it's been 5 years since DH took his last breath. So much has changed along the way and there is so much that happened that I never could have imagined. Overall I am in a good place but I have to admit this month was hard...the death day crazies haven't happened like this since the first 2 years. This year his anniversary is the same day as his death and I think that has messed with me. The flashbacks and remembering exactly what happened 5 years ago that day were tough. Then there is this - I recently started dating for the first time and last night I had my first kiss. Today is DH's angelversary. The contrast of something good and something bad is just bizarre. Happy & sad at the same time for two completely different reasons.

I'm in! See you in a few weeks.

This week was challenging due to a calf strain. Substituted deep water running for my normal runs. Will be testing it out tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well. Other than that planning & making my packing lists for Lake Placid. My first Ironman is only 8 days away...I can't believe it is almost here!

Background first...I'm about 4.5 years out. Have always been open to the idea of dating but at the same time have had no desire to date. If I notice a guy paying attention to me or flirting I have always freaked out a bit and not known what to do...but never have given it more than a passing thought... But...I had a guy start flirting with me...when I realized what was happening I started freaking out but since I was on my bike and climbing a tough hill couldn't freak out for long. So started flirting back. I sort of liken it to the kids opening up to you in the car. You can't look right at them so it makes it a lot easier. Of course I went out and bought a few new really cute cycling tops, done a bit of obsessing over every conversation we had, etc... Who knew that a little attention would turn me into a teenager again? Regardless of if I ever run into him again it's been fun having a crush...who knew?

It's been awhile since anyone has posted on this thread. How's everyone doing? I've been very lucky with my training...cooler than normal weather has made long runs and long rides so much more enjoyable. Today's workout was a 30 mile bike ride and a 6 mile run. Lucky enough to have friends join me which always makes it so much easier. then home to eat, shower and nap. I've decided that naps should be a required part of any workout

How's everyone adjusting to exercising in this hot weather? I struggle with the sudden change in temperature & humidity but it is nice to not have to bundle up to go out for a run.

I'm biased but do it. The cabins are great. Letchworth is one of my favorite places on earth! I grew up not far from there and camped there most summers. Some of my longest lasting friendships are people I met as a result of our families vacationing the same weeks each year. There is still a core group of about 5 families that camp at the same time each year. My sister & her family are part of it and I try to get up there when I can. It is so fun seeing the next generation enjoy it like we did. If you camp there Stony Brook State Park is close and worth the day trip. No extra entrance fees to visit other NYS parks if you are camping at one.

Less than 3 months to go before my big race. Today I rode 70 miles. THis is huge for me. I'm relatively new cyclist and this was 25 miles further than I have ever gone. The last 15 or so miles was painful but I pushed through. It wasn't fast by any means but I did it! Hurting girl tonight. Tomorrow's run is probably not going to be fun. I still have a long way to go to be race ready but it is so fun doing more than I ever thought possible.

Yes, it is normal to feel conflicted after being a caregiver. Just remember, no decisions have to be made today. Give yourself time to figure out what you really want to do. If you want to date that's great, if not that's great too. And some people date and then decide they aren't ready and that's ok .

Great job Arneal!

So sorry Jess. I had to deal with that about a year ago. It is so hard when yet another connection to DH is gone.

It was a beautiful morning for a long run along the Potomac. Spotted a bald eagle sitting in it's nest - was so excited to see that even though it was sort of far away. Ran with a group of friends that always push me to do more than I think I can. Got back home, made breakfast or maybe it was lunch by then. Did my strength workout and now I'm trying to find the energy to jump in the shower...

So three weeks till my first race of the season. The weather is not cooperating for outdoor bike rides. UGH! This week has been a great training week for me. I've been struggling with my running the last couple months and finally had a string of runs that are closer to my normal pace AND most importantly felt good. All of us have our own fitness journey but learning to celebrate your accomplishments is so important. It doesn't matter how big or small they are but it does matter that you are out there doing something. I'm hoping people start posting more. Seeing what others do is so motivating to me.

There's a Young Widow meet up group that I am part of. Activities seem to come in spurts. Sunday night dinners at a restaurant tend to be more successful than other nights for this group.