PhotoJunkie Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Im staying "single" for the rest of my life. After spending the vast majority of a year all by myself in a remote location, I have moved to a huge city and within walking distance of my sister (against my better judgement but in the best interest of the girl) If I go over to my sister's, i can bet the farm Im staying all day/night till I come home to sleep and will get nothing accomplished. So I have learned to start saying no. She doesn't come here when invited. My mom spends half her year in Canada and half in Florida. Until about 2 weeks ago, she has maintained Canadian citizenship only. Two weeks ago she was sworn in as a citizen but she has to stay till her passport is cleared. As all their friends in Florida have gone back up to Canada, she was very lonely. So my sister invites her to stay up here. The original plan was that my daughter would stay with me till next week and mom with my sister. Then swap. Nope, I end up with my mom 24/7, including her holy days in which I can't listen to music, watch tv etc. I respect her religious days but ugh. Especially when I asked my sister to keep her the last saturday in the afternoon so I could get some things done. instead she sends my mom back to me to take a nap....while her family gets to enjoy tv, music and getting their chores done. This week I have a heavy duty orientation. Every day I come home with my brain fried, tired from working hours Im not used to, feeling rather stupid next to the other nurses in the room etc. I find lights left on, dishes everywhere, food left on counters, etc. They were out all day shopping. The first day of orientation I had a massive migraine. I texted everyone to let them know I was on my way home with a migraine. My mom waits till I have been home an hour or so (in complete darkness and no sound) to come home and do her laundry, pretend to worry about dishes, (banging them together, stacking them on the counter) turning on all the lights etc. and can't understand why Im crabby. She could have done these things while I was gone. Every night they expect me to make a full blown dinner while they sat on the couch. Last night I convinced family to go out to dinner except it took them over 90 minutes to get there so we didn't get home till after 730pm....I still have to get ready for work etc. Today my mom has been all over me about every little thing. Its driving me crazy. I love my mom. I love my kid (who gets a pass because she came down with the flu today and is super sick) but seriously. you can't see what needs to be done and help out? your so helpless that I have to think of everything and do it for you? Mom is huffy that the house isn't clean. Im gone for 12 hours a day by the time you count the commute....she is home all day doing nothing. The house wouldn't be so messy if you would just pick up after your self. Im not asking you to take care of the things I make a mess of, just the stuff you do during the day. Ive turned into the parent!!!! its very frustrating. Im glad she is here because there is someone to watch the girl tomorrow night through Sunday Night. My sister and her husband are leaving to go to another state to finish up work on their house they are trying to sell. The girl has the flu so she has to stay home and I have mandatory, can't miss Orientation through Friday. however, I don't have enough beds for everyone and no way my sick baby is going to sleep on the couch. So Im sleeping on the couch starting tomorrow night while my mom and my daughter use the beds. My mom could go stay at my sisters, but she gets huffy about it and doesn't want to be by herself. But she isn't willing to give up her bed (which is really my daughters). If this wasn't during my stressful orientation, it wouldn't bother me so much but I feel like I leave one work to come home to another. And when I mention needing help etc, I get those looks like how dare you expect us to help or the "well I don't know where you put things." Ummmm I just moved....I myself don't know where I put things. I open cupboards and closets till I figure it out. Its not that large of a place. Just letting off some steam. I only have two more days this week for orientation. I don't know my schedule for next week as my supervisor is on vacation till Friday. I just hope I don't have what the girl has. It all started with a sore throat......and guess who has one now?? *sigh* can someone please send me Bon Jovi for stress relief or find a way to return my husband, but Im guessing my odds are better with Jon Bon. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 No words of wisdom, but I wanted to let you know that I can understand your frustration. I always tell my daughters that no ONE person should have to do everything around the house. We all live here, so it's a family effort. Pick up after yourselves and take the initiative when you see something that needs cleaned up or put away. Thankfully your mom living with you is temporary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Ugh, just ugh, orientation for a new job is stressful enough. Coming home from a long day to a mess my kids left always pushes me over the edge, but an adult not doing anything would be way worse. Why does accepting someone's help for one thing always come with a downside? Hang in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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