widowat33 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Today marks the day that my life changed in an instant. I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. Sadness, and gratitude for having him in my life even if it wasn't long enough. Sometimes I'm just hit with the overwhelming feeling of disbelief that this is my life now. This was not how it was supposed to be, but this is what it is. I can't help but feel that it would be a terrible disservice to him for me to just keep trudging along with no purpose. So I'm vowing to live each day to the fullest, in his memory, for him who didn't get the chance to fulfill all of his dreams. This place has helped me so much. I'm not sure how I would be if I hadn't found ywbb, and the support that is here. So thank you to all of you, for making me not feel like I'm doing this wrong. I know the first year is just a small hurdle in a series of many more to overcome, but I'm stronger now. Even stronger than I was before he died. I will not let his death destroy me as much as at times it feels as though it has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Tight hugs to you, widowat33. I think your husband would be really proud of your strength and how you've managed to keep things going for your kids and yourself in his absence. More hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Hugs from here too, sweetie. I wish I had something more concrete. Peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widowat33 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Thanks SVS and Jen. Surprisingly the build up to the day was worse than the actual day. My youngest and I went to the beach with a couple of friends. These friends are the funniest and most upbeat people I know, one is also a young widow, I probably couldn't have spent the day with anyone better My oldest was supposed to be meeting up with his friends but none of them showed up After supper we went to my parents for a campfire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Surprisingly the build up to the day was worse than the actual day. I just had my one year on the 8th, and found this was the same for me. In the couple of weeks leading up to it, I had one day I was so grief-stricken that I couldn't bear to go to work and the day after I was vomiting in the morning - which I knew was also due to the grief. The actual day itself went surprisingly well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursula Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Hello widowat33, I am glad the day turned out better than anticipated. It is weird, I experienced the same and have read it many times here and Justin here just confirms it, that the days leading up to the day are worse than the actual day. I guess once it is here, you cannot change that either. Good that you were surrounded by upbeat friends, your son and a campfire sounds just like a good end to the day. You sound very positive, congratulations on that! and keep at it. peace be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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