Dear Lindsay, I am so very sorry to hear of your tragedy. As everybody above said, take it bit by bit, moment by moment, give yourself time. There are no answers to the forever 'why me, us, now' questions that are screaming in your head. I lost my husband over 4 years ago and it does get easier. I never believed that when I was at this early ,your, stage, but it does happen and even if this is no consolation to you now, you can and will get there, one day at the time, in your own time.
This place has saved me from going insane and there are some wonderful people here. Try and come here often, it makes one feel less alone with this trauma and people have helped me so many times through so many sleepless nights.
All my warmest wishes to you from afar with getting through to see the ilght again and good luck with the rpegnancy and all that comes after.