The Wedding Ring

[Guest fern]

I wish I could find his wedding ring. It was lost during his chaotic final weeks, when scores of tiny brain tumors were chipping away at his ability to function and I had to rely on friends and neighbours to carry him down the long flight of stone stairs to the car to get to the radiation center every day. One person would have his legs and 2 of us would have his torso. It was always awkward and horrible carrying him down those stairs. I have nightmares about him yelling and crying at us. The ring must have come off then.

[Brenda]

Sorry you've lost the ring (temporarily, I hope).  After my wife died, the ring was the most important thing of hers that I had; nothing else mattered whatsoever.  It was like that was a physical part of her, something that linked us together no matter what happened.

 

The weird thing is, despite the ring being ever so important back then (earlier this year when she died), it's something I don't place much importance on now.  I remember those early days trying to figure out whether to wear her ring on my right hand, or put both our rings on our right hand, or god knows what else; it was like that was a means to keep her alive.  I remember wearing her ring on a necklace around my neck soon after she went, and the necklace clip broke and I thought I'd lost the ring.  The worst panic I've ever experienced, on all fours crawling around an office frantically like a complete nutcase.  But now, with a little time between her death and where I am today (which is only seven months out), the ring doesn't mean even a fraction of what it used to.  I don't wear it, I don't miss it, I don't wear my own wedding ring (which I swore I'd always do), and I place far more value on my happy memories of my marriage and the amazing woman my wife once was.  No matter what happens, I'll always have those memories with me, and seeing her smiling face in my mind unexpectedly or remembering some of the happy little moments we shared is far, far, far more important to me than the ring ever was.

 

I hope the ring turns up.  I'd still fall to pieces if my wife's ring disappeared.  I'm sure it'll be found when you're not expecting it.  Is there a chance that anyone picked it up and put it somewhere for safekeeping but forgot to tell you?

 

Sending a hug your way, and I wish I was there to help you find it!

[Jen]

(((((Fern)))))) I so hope you find it. Surely it will appear... my favorite teacher used to swear by calling on St Anthony. It can't hurt...

 

more hugs,

 

jen