ieh21 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Beginning of second grade. Much more homework. Lessons to learn. Still no time. Today was the worst. Big meeting this morning and hosting a party for our team at home. By the time I got around to homework I wanted to die. And she was tired too. End of a cold. High Holidays so a couple of late nights. She's tired and we have loads of stuff to get through. And I'm frustrated. And I'm getting impatient. I'm showing it. She's trying her best but after an hour she cant. We finish and I give her her dessert. She asks sheepishly: "can I really eat this?" Me: "why not?" She: "I'm not sure I'm good enough to deserve dessert." And I want to punch myself for being so unable to deal with this situation. I hired someone to help her with homework once a week. It starts next week. I'm hoping it works out. She needs someone helpful. Not me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 You do not suck. You recognize that you are not the best person to help your daughter with her homework and you found someone who is. That is a responsible response and you should commend yourself for it. Many times kids respond better to a non-parent when it comes to learning which is not indicative of being a good or a bad parent, it's just the learning style of the child. abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 My youngest is in third grade. In our district this is the first year that they get grades on their report cards instead of 1's, 2's, and 3's. They also start bringing home more homework, and take the state mandated testing (ISTEP.) I have her work on her homework independently and then I check it over when she's done. She is given a weekly reading log that is due every Thursday, a math sheet that is due on Friday, and a word study that is also due on Friday. The word study is for her spelling words. Right now she is required to read 100 minutes every week and write 3-6 sentences about what she read. She loves to read, so she always goes well over her minutes. She struggles with math, so we spend the most time on her math sheet. She has the whole week to work on it though. It sounds like your daughter gets a lot of homework for her age! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveyoualways Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Eih21, I can really relate to the homework problems. My son is also in grade two and last year I felt like I was homeschooling him due to the multiple teachers that he had. He cannot focus. So his report card mentioned that I should get him to do more than the minimum. When he spends one hour writing five words six times I want to pull out my hair and that is the maximum, not the minimum. I just do not want to belittle him as my mother did all of my life. But with all the other things that we are responsible for alone I felt like the school should be teaching him and I should be able to go to school or work and be responsible that way. Last year was so stressful. Hopefully his teacher this year will teach him. I hope that your daughter gets the help that she needs. And that you get the break that you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 So much homework in early elementary is ridiculous! Most of my kids teachers at that age would say "if it's taking more than a half hour, stop, send me a note, and we will figure out why" when you and she get to that point of frustration it's no longer productive. Talk to the teacher, maybe she can get extra help at school, you can request an evaluation to see if she qualifies for extra services, it can be very beneficial. And you don't suck! you are doing your part and then some. The situation sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 No you don't. I haven't even read your post and I can say that with absolute certainty, so now I'll go back and read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Okay, I read it and consider myself validated. Learning difficulties are hard for a child hard for the parent and you are both doing your best. Of course you're frustrated; she is too. I think as parents we often think our children's feelings are all the direct result of our actions. But there are so many influences in their lives. My sense is your daughter's comment is as much a reflection of her own internal frustration with herself. Which of course you'd want to protect her from. By helping her, you're doing everything you can to do just that. Its okay to be frustrated and it's more than okay to teach your kid that it's okay to get frustrated, as long as you're both still trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 (((((hugs)))) My youngest is in 2nd grade and yes they have piled it on this year. I understand the time thing....in our house lately we are all up till 10 or 11 doing homework because the evening is so full and busy. I am so glad it's Friday and one of the reasons is I know I have 3 free nights without all the damn homework. My 5th grader had FOUR hours the other night. I thought I was going to lose my mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 You definitely do not suck - you are a great mom, ieh21. We are on week 2 and my small one, same grade, has not had any homework. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieh21 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 Thank you so much for responding. I went to bed really at my wits end and woke up to all your encouragement. I feel so much better now. I think as parents we often think our children's feelings are all the direct result of our actions. But there are so many influences in their lives. My sense is your daughter's comment is as much a reflection of her own internal frustration with herself. Which of course you'd want to protect her from. So very true. So very very true. It is sort of comforting: I am not the be all end all. It's not all on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hikermom Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 So much homework in early elementary is ridiculous! Most of my kids teachers at that age would say "if it's taking more than a half hour, stop, send me a note, and we will figure out why" when you and she get to that point of frustration it's no longer productive. ^^^this^^^ If DD is struggling so much with homework that I'm losing my patience and she is dissolving in tears, I tell her to put it away and she can check in with the teacher the next day. Homework should help reinforce strategies and lessons learned during the day. If they can't figure it out in a reasonable amount of time - it wasn't learned during the day and no amount of stress will make it happen. It will just make it worse as they child reinforces in their own mind that they "stink at math" or "will NEVER get this." That is not learning. And no, you don't suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Losttogether Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 You do not suck. You are trying. Life is not easy. Managing everything alone is not easy. The simple fact that you are figuring out different solutions is proof you don't suck. You should have dessert too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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