Guest running with scissors Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I am not happy. I feel so unhappy all the time. It;s like nothing fazes me anymore, Nothing. I try, I really do. Nothing helps. I don't know if I will ever be happy again.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnip Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I understand. It's been 8 years for me. On this board, there have been many postings asking what you miss most about your spouse. Most answers are sex, companionship, salary, etc. Yes, all those are true, but for me, the most I miss is fun. He could make anything fun; chores, grocery shopping, living life. I miss fun. I guess love does make the world go around. Peace to you, ~Catnip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsT85 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 On this board, there have been many postings asking what you miss most about your spouse. Most answers are sex, companionship, salary, etc. Yes, all those are true, but for me, the most I miss is fun. What I miss most is how well he understood me. How wonderful he was to be with because when it came to our likes and dislikes and core values, we were practically the same person. I'd tell him all the time "I know it doesn't sound sexy, but I love how easy it is to be with you." This new relationship I'm in is a lot of things, but it's almost never easy. There's not just that effortless understanding with him like Tim would have for me. He's a good man who does his best to love a broken person like me, but there's just not that reassuring and comforting blanket over the relationship that comes from knowing that he and I will always be on the same page and will never get tired of or bored with each other. I can be happy again sometimes. But I've not reached the heights I could climb to with him by my side in the 2.5+ since he'd died and I honestly don't expect to ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rememberingjason Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I understand this all too well...I am also afraid I will never feel that true deep down happiness. I see glimpses of pleasure but nothing like it used to be. It kind of worries me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Lost the spark of happiness, the route of happiness and the point of happiness. Now what? Good Question. I miss those afternoons, coming home and knowing something good was just, "there". Knowing there would be a light on, much laughter and a kindred spirit to make sense of the day. I would like to say I try, but I don't, really. I suppose I don't really want to know it's gone... No help, I'm sorry, just understanding and I guess, a kindred spirit... -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Firstly, I wanted to say I am sorry you are feeling this way...its awful trying to drudge through the days feeling like that. Since being widowed my mood swings are terrible, and when I am down, its endless tears and I just feel awful. But maybe I could try and give a different perspective based on my own experience (understanding everyone's widow experiences and grieiving are very different). One thing that my husband's sudden and unexpected death taught me was that life can be really short - we only have a finite amount of time here. I spent my first year in a fog, 2nd year in a big mood swing and started to feel a bit more normal in year 3. And more recently, I have decided that although its perfectly fine to feel down sometimes, and to have days when I want to feel bad, I do want to be genuine happy with the time I have left. So I am now focused on what I can do to make me (as well as my son) happy (its my new mission) - its not easy, its hard work but I feel it is helping me. I certainly dont feel happy and dont expect to all the time but I do have days where I feel pretty good and have days when I can say I am happy. I read a few books on the topic, watched a few documentaries to get me going and have been trying to find ways to make myself happy, including improving my diet, keeping up with exercise, caring about my appearance, getting involved in activities I love to do (dancing, sailing, wine tasting), spending more quality time with my son (on outings - we used to just stay home all the time), allowing myself down time from work if I need it, working on things that have been bothering me in my Chapter 2 reltaionship, building new, healthy relationships, volunteering and helping others, doing home decorating projects etc. I also have tried to quit obsessing about things I cant control and things in the past that have gone wrong in my life.... I hope this helps a little...wishing you all the best....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest running with scissors Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Hi all, Thanks for understanding. I try, I really do but I have lost something deep in side of me. I have lost all my motivation, my caring, I don't know. I use to exercise and care about things but its gone and I just don't know how to get it back. I haven't laughed in such a long time. My DH and I laughed all the time. We were great friends and it is just so hard not having him here. I do keep trudging along, I just don't know how long a person can exist feeling so down. I keep moving, that's all I can do. Hes been gone five years, I swear I'm getting worse. I'll just keep forging ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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