rememberingjason

I am also a teacher (middle school) and after my husband passed have had many times similar to what you just described in your post. One thing I was able to do was speak to my admin team and let them know that when it comes to this I would be turning it over to the guidance counselor and admin and they worked with me on that. It has been about 6 years now and I find myself able to talk and help the students a little more in those situations but there are other days when it just feels like there is no way. That is the hard part of being a teacher you are so much more than the person who teaches them academics. You are a strong person who has so much to share, but you also have to take time for yourself to heal. You can't be every child's therapist, parent, advisor, sometimes you just have to be their teacher and be the best you can. Those students are lucky to have someone who cares so much and do not ever forget that!

So sorry you had to go through this. You are NOT at fault. Hugs

Thank you all for your empathy and kind words. My keys were still not located today. I am trying to keep it all in perspective.

Thank you for understanding and I am sorry you understand. I am trying to keep things in perspective but as they are still missing that is hard. Again thanks for the response it means a lot!

As a teacher I try my best to be good to my students, help them whenever I can, and teach them to the best of my ability. Today I was so excited...after 15 years I got a whole classroom of new desks. Mine were pathetic and I was so excited my students would have clean, comfortable desks. During the transition, apparently, one of them stole my car/house keys out of my bag. When I realized what had happened about 15 min before school was out ...I was asked by my AP "What do you want me to do?" I felt so betrayed not only by the student who took from me, but I also felt betrayed by the administrator who was supposed to protect me. Here I am no keys to my car or home...and all he could say was What do you want me to do. It breaks my heart to think how a middle school can be such a bad place to be...I know I work in a tough area and I have been there a long time...but for some reason today...I felt unsafe...I feel like my car can be stolen, my house invaded, and I am disheartened. (2 weeks ago a former student shot a classmate 2 houses from my school....they were 16) Anyway, thanks for letting me share.... I feel like no one understands how unsafe I feel at this moment...Jason is gone, no one to protect me, it just feels very lonely.

Boyfriend did feel weird at first but now seems much easier. I also like partner in crime :-)

I think for a long time I felt like I had to be careful and let everyone believe our marriage was great. Many still do and that is fine. There were very good times for sure and great memories. I have found that with my NG I have opened up about things that weren't so good. I feel safe in that he won't share those things with anyone else and since they affect me at times it was important that I share. I think if you feel safe sharing with NG and that it will only be between the 2 of your then say what you need to...we all need to be able to be 100% honest with our Ch 2 on the things that are important to us.

Sorry, I started back to school and haven't been here for a few days. Honestly, I found the different lists on Pinterest. I didn't keep them once I printed the ones I wanted. There are so many and of so many different kinds. Some are serious, some funny, some sexy, most very informative...just a fun idea. Like I said some may find in unnecessary and cheesy and some are but it has been great for us.

So this may seem to some but I wanted to share in case there were others who struggled like me. When NG and I started dating we had already been friends for over a year and knew the basics about each other but there was so much more and things you never think about asking or discussing. I found a list of deeper questions and cut them up in an old jar and we draw questions out. The drawer reads the question and the other person has to answer first and then the drawer answers. These questions have lead us into many deep discussions as well as some seriously funny ones. It has made an amazing difference in how we easily talk about the tough things and things we never thought about. Just wanted to share, Amanda

Tennessee

The Glass Castle: A Memoir Paperback ? January 17, 2006 by Jeannette Walls (Author)

The town is Linville, NC - the park is Grandfather Mountain you can google it. Mt Mitchell may take a little more time to get to. There is also Chimney Rock State Park but I haven't been there. I guess you can just look and see what is around you and what looks the most interesting. Hope you all have a wonderful trip!

I love that area. If you are willing to drive about 35-45 min Grandfather Mountain is awesome it has a swinging bridge, some animals, a fudge shop....nice hiking and walking, Mt Mitchell is also awesome for hiking around. The Arboretum is a pretty place to walk around...I have never been there when the lights were up. Have a great time!

I teach 7th grade Language Arts but have seen lots of cool ideas for Science 7th grade on Pinterest ...sounds cheesy but you should get on there and look it is a wealth of information and plans that align with standards. You will be great! So happy to hear the good news.

I understand this all too well...I am also afraid I will never feel that true deep down happiness. I see glimpses of pleasure but nothing like it used to be. It kind of worries me.

She is beautiful! So glad you have her by your side.

KIK is just a messanger app. I have talked to many friends using it. There is no dating aspect. I do know that others can see when you have a profile...I get some random messages from different people asking to chat. I just delete and talk to the people I wan to. It is free to use so anyone can create an account. There is nothing wrong with chatting with people in real time...enjoy it...doesn't mean you have to speak to all of them....use that delete button.

Update: Things are going really well. I still get in my head at times and worry, but I am trying to just go with the flow and enjoy this new life. Thanks for all of the support. :-)

So, I was here just a month ago crying to everyone about the jerk that had manipulated my life for 2 years and only wanted me around when it was convenient for him. I LISTENED to your advice and I am now happily but still warily dating the nice guy with potential :-) We have been friend for about a year and dating for about 3 weeks officially. He is so kind and caring and always tries to make time for me. (3 kids and swing shift job...crazy life). I am truly happy and all of that anxiety from the other relationship isn't in this one at all. The only thing I can't seem to do is stay out of my head with the wary thoughts of the future. All that to say ...thanks for all of the advice and yay I am in a new and healthy relationship. Amanda

So many wise words. I am also an SOS and it terrified me at first that I would always fall for someone with bipolar or the same disposition. I even met one man that I was super attracted to but because of his illness chose to distance myself and just be a friend. Everyone should date when they feel ready. I wasn't really ready and ended up stuck in a manipulative situation with a man that made me absolutely miserable, yet that relationship taught me so much about my new relationship and who I am. It is always a step out on a limb to try anything new. I do not think we ever get over or move past loving our spouse. I do believe we find people (friends or dates) who are willing to understand that love and that we can give them love too. Keep you head held high and don't compare...when you are ready it will happen. Keep the faith.

Someone on here gave us a link to watch it for free last year. Does anyone have that link? Thanks, Amanda

You can do this! Positive vibes for you tomorrow.

Thank you for this thread. I have just been dumped/let go but he still wants to be best friends after a year and a half relationship. I gave my trust and love away again and man does it hurt like hell right now. As others have said the writing was on the wall and we were not meant to be...but losing the companionship, friendship, and trust has left me afraid to try again. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as losing Jason...he was truly my best friend and soul mate. I do have hope that God will put the man in my life who won't hurt me and will not leave me. I guess that is all we have left...right. Anyway thanks for providing a place to talk about this.

Thanks ...you each have touched on points in my own thinking. I appreciate your responses.

I understand. My sister-in-law just got remarried and wanted me to be a bridesmaid...I told her I loved her and I would be there for her but I could not stand up at her wedding (her first wedding Jason was with me). So I cried a lot the night before and then when I got there I just helped in any way I could. When we got to the ceremony I cried a little tear for myself and one for them as they sweetly vowed to love one another forever. After that I just chose to focus on anything but remembering until it was over. Hang in there you've got this