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I'm an empty shell of who I use to be


Guest running with scissors
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Guest running with scissors

I have no strong likes of anything.  I am still lost after all these years.  I cry a lot.  No one knows how empty I feel.  I get up, I stumble through the day, I try to sleep and it just goes on and on, week after week with no change.  I am completely empty.  I am pathetic..

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Yeah. Since youre posting in Beyond Active, I'm guessing you're where I am, too. People think you've got on with life, but you still have this hole in your heart. You try to go out and live, but everything, even the stuff that should be awesome, is somehow dulled like a washed out photo. The one you love is gone and the world will always be a lesser place.

 

I don't have an answer. I suspect there isn't one. But you're not the only one, if that helps.

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I understand about no strong likes. I used to love riding my motorcycle, used to love scuba diving, used to love hiking and camping. I still do these things occasionally, though not like I used to, but the passion for them is gone. My passion for life is gone.

 

I think it's because in order to survive the grief, I have had to numb my feelings. Apparently, I don't have the ability to numb one emotion, but have numbed them all.

 

I would really like to regain the passion for life that I once enjoyed.

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Yes I feel the same way.  I used to like life. I was "happy".  Now I have some happy times, but they are small moments in time.  I no longer can say "life is good" or that in general "I'm happy".  Will I ever be truly happy again?  I would like to think so (since it's rather depressing otherwise).  I guess I just need to be patient...

 

Max, your reference to just being worn out from the grief sums it up pretty well!

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  • 2 weeks later...

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