Kicked in the Gut

[Carey]

For nearly 15 months I've avoided it.  THE SONG. The ONE song that I KNEW would take me to my knees if I heard it. I've always loved music, surround myself with it pretty much 24/7 and that's one of the things that hurt the most when he left. Like music lost its colors. I started with just the three songs I played at his funeral. Gradually added a few.  Now I'm pretty confident with what's on my phone .... and then just a few minutes ago on Pandora they smacked me with it and I'm at work. George Strait's Blue Clear Sky  :'(  the tears came hard fast and furious and I'm in my little cubicle afraid to move.  He sang that to me over the phone when I was still in texas, when we had first met and he said I was his walkin talkin true love and what a surprise I was ......... I can't stand this OMG this hurts  :'(

[Baylee627]

I'm so sorry, Carey. I avoid DH's funeral songs, and the one song I know would plunge me over the edge--my song to him: My Love Follows You Where You Go, by Allison Krauss.

 

Music is very powerful. I so get this.

 

Hugs to you.

 

Baykee

[MrsT85]

I've always loved music, surround myself with it pretty much 24/7 and that's one of the things that hurt the most when he left. Like music lost its colors.

 

Beautifully said.  It took me several weeks to be able to listen to ANY music again after he died, which only made me kick myself harder because it felt like the exact opposite of what he'd want me to do.  He'd want me to surround myself with the music we loved and find comfort in it.  Instead, I avoided it because I was so scared of what it might do to me. 

 

I'm almost two years out now, and there are still so many songs and bands I'm afraid of.