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On the road again...


Wheelerswife
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I finished the semester (and got the grades I needed) and I'm off tomorrow morning, heading back to the east coast.  I'll get to see all of my family - parents, siblings, their significant others, nieces, nephews, their significant others, MIL1, and some friends, too.  AND...I get to see some wid friends!  I'm ready for the break. 

 

It has been a good semester.  I started out wondering how I would get through everything, but my brain seems to be screwed on a little tighter these days, and I managed to get through everything that was thrown at me.  I also spent a lot of time alone this fall and I think I needed the time to let the summertime sadness lift.  I'm feeling more focused on the future and that feels good. 

 

Yesterday marked 23 months since John died. Sometimes I can't believe it has been that long, but sometimes it is clear to me that much has changed since he died.  I'm glad he is still remembered fondly for his mentoring, leadership and collaboration at the university.  Recently, a faculty member giving a speech in acceptance of a research/scholarship award mentioned John's influence on him and his career.  I listened without tears.  Somehow, I have made it through the worst of times and I can now smile more than I cry when my mind turns to John.

 

So...I may not have as much time to read and post as I venture out in the next several weeks.  I encourage anyone who can make it to come and bago in Connecticut the Sunday after New Years.  ("Bago" is now a verb!) I'll be grateful to see the people who have walked with me through the loss of two wonderful husbands. 

 

Adios, Kansas!  I hope the east coast is ready for me!

 

Maureen

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Day 8 of my road trip.  I have covered over 2000 miles and I've visited some widow friends and a lot of family so far.  Fortunately, there is more fun to come.  I've gotten past seeing my parents...my father has been one of the biggest thorns in my side, so I am grateful that I got through that visit fairly unscathed.  His 89th birthday is in a few days and I see his mind slipping.  Somehow, this has made him easier for me to tolerate.

 

I also got to visit one of my uncles who was widowed this past April.  I also saw his kids, who are around my age.  My uncle is in a new relationship with a widow who is about a year out.  I also met her.  She seems lovely and they seem happy.  I talked a little with one of my cousins, who was a little shocked about how quickly this relationship has blossomed.  I told her that my relationship with John had blossomed even more quickly than her dad's relationship.  She is okay with the situation...it just took a little bit of time to wrap her head around the idea.  My uncle had been a caregiver for his wife, who died of complications of Alzheimer's at a fairly young age of 76.  He does look very happy.  I'm happy for him.

 

Today, I had the opportunity to have some time with our very own hikermom and her daughter.  The relatively mild New England December let us get our hair blown in an outdoor mall before enjoying some good soup and a sandwich.  Isn't it the little pleasures in life that make such a difference?

 

I'll be seeing more of you folks over the next couple of weeks.  I can't wait to get more widow hugs!

 

Maureen

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  • 2 weeks later...

1000 more miles on the car.  I spent the long Christmas weekend with my older sister and her whole brood, with nieces and nephews in from California, Georgia and Florida.  We heard the news that my sister is going to be a grandmother.  I did well the entire time.  Fortunately, there are a lot of introverts in that family and we would all go to a corner space from time to time and regroup.  I was able to keep my anxiety pretty quiet, processing mostly when I was in bed at night with my dog.  I traveled yesterday from the spring-like temperatures in Northern Virginia to Maine, where we are now experiencing the first winter storm of the season.  I'm now with my pother sister and her family.  Rosie was quite happy frolicking in the snow this morning! In a couple of days, I will head back to CT for NYE with good peeps and I'm looking forward to the bago on Sunday!!

 

Maureen

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