Adopt a Thread/No Person Left Behind

[canadiangirl]

On Friday the YWBB site will apparently go dark.  So we have less than a week to try to get the word out to people about this new site and to save their stuff from the YWBB site.  The YWBB admin took down the user list last Sat. so there is no way of methodically or simply reaching people.  All we have is PMs and the Facebook sites.

 

I am not a member of the Facebook groups and don't wish to be so if there is anyone who could post a reminder asking people to please contact those they know who are not FB group members but who might wish to save their posts or join the new group that would be great.  The admin message is absolutely not clear on the fact that the site will go dark.   

 

If anyone here could help by adopting a thread this week that would be great.  I have PM'd (in groups of 5) members on pages 119-102 of Young Widowed Parents; approx pages 1-19 of Books and Quotes;  most of the members in the Extreme Caretaking thread under "Special Circumstances" and pages 1-19 of Newly Widowed members.  I note all usernames in a notebook and then send PMs pointing to this new site and stating that apparently the site will go dark so they may wish to save their posts.  I am targeting 2011 to the present only because I think there is a greater likelihood that the members of these "peer groups" may check in on time.

 

It is really daunting without the userlist - there are thousands of names (a tribute to the founders).  Most people will not get the PM in time, may not join this site and may or may not care about their posts.  But as I mentioned to mt4freak, the fact that this great big repository of heartbreak will just vanish this week without many people's knowledge just... my anger over that is what keeps me going.  But I have other commitments as well.

 

PLEASE HELP.  Thanks to those others I know are doing this!

[anniegirl]

That's a lovely idea. And you are right not to worry about those before 2011. The Facebook groups are probably where many are who are still connected to the YWBB and people there have been combing their friend's list and alerting people.

 

I will put up another post at the FB group I belong to and remind them again of the deadline and to get the word out to anyone they think might still be clueless.

 

Wish I could help more with the old board but I wasn't active and really am cut off that way.

 

We should remember though that the membership list at the YWBB is a bit deceiving. There has never been a very active base that exceeded more than a few hundred at a time so the odds are good that anyone who is active knows and that anyone who was lurking is savvy enough to hunt down new venues.

 

Those of us who use the web like to think that most of the world does but that's not true. We are still a rather small group in terms of population percentage b/c words on a "page" is not how most people like to interact.

 

But this is a good plan. Thanks for putting it up and for taking charge.

[Guest AC]

Thanks CG!!  I will focus on threads from my early days unless you have a better suggestion. That will pick up people from a few years earlier than 2011.

 

I know everyone is different. I personally rarely check FB and have considered deleting my account many times. Many of our members are not vocal. Many are not tech savvy. Some actually miss what is right in front of their nose (like an announcement from admin that the board is closing, or a link to the new board). Say you only checked In every two months to read the parenting board - what about them?  Many of our members are not part of the social networking aspects of the community (including FB). Many members take breaks and come back months or years later - be they posters or readers. For some it is important to feel they were simply remembered. Others are interested in saving or revisiting some threads. Still others may actually join this new community. Those individuals may be avid posters or just readers once they get here.  All of them matter to me personally. All of them.

 

My main reason for sending PMs is to catch people who may try to sign on between March 21 and eternity only to be crushed to find their safe place gone and source of support and understanding vanished into thin air. If they have their settings set to alert them of PMs, it works. Again, the ROI is low, but I am still catching people who would not have known on time. They matter to me. Those who never had the courage to post one post matter to me too. Those names are gone already. The others will be gone soon.

 

Again, no one needs to join the effort, be it lack of interest or lack of time. But there are very real widows and widowers out there who matter just as much as any one of us who may lose out if not contacted.

[canadiangirl]

My main reason for sending PMs is to catch people who may try to sign on between March 21 and eternity only to be crushed to find their safe place gone and source of support and understanding vanished into thin air.

 

Thanks AC, this is exactly how I feel. 

 

Thanks anniegirl for putting another message on FB!  I hear you about the YWBB being a small percentage of widow(er)s out there and that active users will probably know or find their way.  It's honestly the once but no longer active YWBB members that are not on FB (many of us want to remain anonymous) that I am thinking of - so many posts, so much journalling of dark days.  If I came back on to YWBB years later only to find it gone it would be akin to someone burning my diary, even though I rarely re-read it.  It really bothers me.  I get that YWBB is/was someone's else intellectual property but my words are MINE, and now perhaps someday my child's, but only because I had a shot at saving those words (for which I am grateful). 

[canadiangirl]

Thanks for the pin, Mods!

[Guest AC]

One final shout out here.  Just received the following message in response to a PM I sent this morning from someone who was a fairly vocal member from mid 2010 to late 2012.

 

"Thanks. Hadn't heard, didn't know."

 

There is not much time left to let people know.  I would ask everyone to just consider the following - if there are people you "just assume know" but have not seen here, there or anywhere since the announcement - toss a message at them if you have the time.

 

ETA - messages sent, if forwarding to their actual email is turned on, can reach them even if sent one second before the old board goes dark.

 

 

 

[canadiangirl]

IT'S OVER.  I was mid-message.  The site is down.  So sad to see all that history lost.  So many I was not able to contact this week.  Hopefully they will find us!

 

 

[HvnBound]

I know Canadiangirl! This is what I just read -

 

 

 

YWBB Notice - March 20, 2015

 

After thirteen and a half years, the time has come to shut down the YWBB.

 

When the youngwidow.org website together with its bulletin board, which came to be known as the YWBB, was started, it was the first of its kind - the original website exclusively dedicated to young widows and widowers.

 

It was created as a place for the young widowed to connect, a community where they could find understanding and validation and begin to recover, reclaim and rebuild their lives. We would like to think the YWBB succeeded in that mission - if it did, it was because of the members of the community who shared their experiences and feelings, who showed compassion and understanding, who provided support and encouragement, who reassured each other that they weren't crazy and they weren't alone, who were beacons of hope and inspiration.

 

The decision to shut down the YWBB was a difficult but necessary one. We are sad to see it end, but with so many types of social media available these days we are confident that others will step in and create new communities for the young widowed. The YWBB will be gone, but the friendships made there and the impact it had will be enduring - and we have faith that the same will be true for the new communities.

 

Today and always, we wish hope and healing to all young widows and widowers.

[Guest AC]

I was mid message too.  At least they gave us until 12:05 EST...

 

sigh

[Guest AC]

Well, we did A LOT considering - hopefully those that want to will find their way here.  Onward!

[lcoxwell]

This breaks my heart.  Between work, being sick, the anniversary of Kenneth's death, his birthday, the anniversary of when he was buried, coming here (because I have been grieving hard and needed all of you), I managed to have time to save my own personal posts on topics I started, but I had not had a chance to save other posts I made or the responses to my topics.  I wish I had had enough time to save everything I wanted to save.  So many of you have lifted me up and encouraged me, advised me and educated me, inspired me and brought me through my darkest days.  I desperately wish I could have had time to save your words to me, to have reviewed favorite threads that had meant so much to me, or just to be able to look back again, one last time. 

 

I had planned to try to copy and save more tonight.  Sadly, I had an incredibly long day today and did not make it home, until late.  I forgot about the time difference, or I might have tried to plan things differently.  I just tried to log on, and saw the message.  It was like a terrible, horrible, kick in the gut.  :'(

[canadiangirl]

Sending you big hugs, lcoxwell.  I am sorry you did not have the chance to save more. 

[Lisa]

Thank you all for your efforts .I truly believe we have something good here. We've built it...they will come.

[lcoxwell]

I want to take a moment to thank those of you, who have worked so hard and put forth such tireless efforts, to make sure that as many people as possible were informed of the closing of YWBB and that they knew about our new "home".  While I was not in a position to help, it is awe-inspiring to see all that you have accomplished in such a short amount of time.

 

I would also like to add that I have been touched by, and shall be eternally grateful to, those of you who reached out to me personally, who made sure I wasn't left behind, who helped me get registered here (when I was having difficulties), and who made sure I did not lose the support of this amazing community, particularly given the timing, which was so close to the one year anniversary of my Kenneth's death.  You were there for me, during some of my darkest days, so far.