didn't want to hijack . . . nine years of christmas

[cj]

Hello All:

I read the posts very often, but rarely post.  I apologize for that because I know many of us need to hear from all experiences.  This is year 9 without my husband.  I thought I would take a bold move and try to 'stay home' this year -- adult children are busy and it seemed like the time to try it without traveling.  It was a day -- I thought I was prepared, had a plan, and decided to forego invitations to be the fifth wheel at friends' gatherings.  It was a plan.  And, I survived the day.  But, having been married to my darling for longer than half my age, the memories of then, that, what was came.  I dealt with them and welcomed them and concentrated on the religious aspect of the day.  I miss him.  I will miss him forever.  There is no substitute for what was with him.  I am not sad as one may think; I am quietly content but so missing my life and my family.  Adult children should have their own lives, I understand that.  Yet, I didn't realize how my own mother felt without her partner until my partner died.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone -- especially my adult children.  I guess what I am trying to say is that life is precious.  Love is rare.  Being with someone who 'gets' you and you 'get' them and create a life full of adventure and stories is so wonderful.  I do think he knew that while he was with me.  And, I just want all of us to be our best, be safe and happy and know that love is real.  Merry Christmas.  Happy New Year.  Thanks for listening.  Everyone who contributes to this board is important to me and I value each of you very much.  You all have saved me more than once by allowing me to share in your thoughts and know that I am not crazy  . . . that others feel and share the same.  Love to you all.  Chris

[WifeLess]

cj,

 

... life is precious. Love is rare.

 

I wish that all people could know this without going through what we have to learn it. Hoping that your 9th New Year is as Happy as it can be.

 

--- WifeLess

 

[cj]

thanks, wifeless, I have found your words to be most thoughtful.  happy new year to you and bluebird.

[ladybug]

Thank you for sharing.  I agree that love is rare.  I didn't really understand that until I became a widow.  Wow.

 

Next summer will be my 8TH summer has a widow.  I can't believe that so much time has passed.  I don't know where it all went.  I still think of him EVERYDAY.

 

This is the year that I am going to seriously look for a good and kind man to share some time with.  Not sure how to word this, but I am tired and sad to spend the years alone.  I still have some good years left and I want to share them with someone.

 

I have cried  a lot since I have been a widow.  I don't want to live this way any more.  Not sure where my journey will take me, but I do know I don't want to be alone any more.

 

Life is met to be shared (in my opinion). 

 

Thanks for starting this post.  I read here everyday.