Guest DebW Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I haven't posted for a while but today something happened that freaked me out. My kids are difficult, they are 9 & 10 and I am having ongoing issues with them since their dad died 7 months ago. We are getting family therapy and I am trying to gain back some control in the house. It is summer holidays here so we have been spending a lot of time together. This morning I took them out for a walk and lunch at a cafe, I was hoping for a nice day but as usually happens my daughter ruined it with her sulking when she didn't get her own way. I get called dumb, stupid, mean, worst mum in the world etc. so we come home and I look around at my pigsty of a house, everything that needs doing before work tomorrow and the fact that their shit is everywhere, they never pick up anything or do one fucking thing to help me. So I just lost my shit, screamed at them and sobbed and cursed my husband for leaving me in this crappy life. I felt like I was going to absolutely lose control and then I grabbed a knife from the drawer and drew it across my arm three times, not a deep cut but enough to draw blood. It didn't hurt and I couldn't really say why I did it but it has scared me that I would even think or do this to myself. I am scared of it happening again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portside Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Deb, I mean this gently but firmly: Get yourself in front of someone that can help you - a trusted friend, doctor, priest or close relative, and let them know what is going on. I'm certain you know it is not healthy to have thoughts of harming yourself. I imagine it all feels overwhelming right now so reach out to someone else that can help talk you through it. You may be pleasantly surprised. Best wishes - Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marian53 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Deb, I can only echo what Mike said- and please know we care. This is such an over-whelming time of the year. Please post again when you need to, OK? Marian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imissdow Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Please continue to post and I echo mikes comments. Call your therapist. Tell her what you said her and please find some help. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Wish you were close enough that I could come and help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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