stormywx Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I contacted a guy today that I had thought we were headed toward a relationship after my husband died. But there were many excuses on his part for not doing that, didn't want a long distance relationship, didn't want me to move in with him because he has OCD, I didn't understand his relationship problems because he has been married four times and they all ended in divorce and all I know is one beautiful happy marriage that ended with my husbands death. I contacted him only to ask him to delete our steamy text messages from back then. They just made me uncomfortable when I thought about it. He informed me that he had deleted it all a while back, because he's in a relationship and has been for a while. And she's "so sweet" and understands prior bad relationships. I was nothing but sweet to him. He was mean to me. I'm not even sure why this is bothering me, I guess it just seems like everyone is just moving on with life and I just can't. I had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas, I was alone. Holidays are for families and I don't have one. I am so sick of this "life." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TalksToAngels Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I am sorry you're hurt. This is one reason I couldn't do LDRs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guaruj Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Stormy, you deserve much better than this guy. It hurts to be rejected, but count your blessings that he decided to screw up someone else's life instead of harrassing you for weeks or months. I'm not even sure why this is bothering me, I guess it just seems like everyone is just moving on with life and I just can't. I had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving or Christmas, I was alone. Holidays are for families and I don't have one. I am so sick of this "life." You're in good company here. There are plenty of us who log in on Saturday nights when we're home alone. It might also help if you gave yourself some place to be other than home or work. Are there clubs you can join or places you can volunteer your time? The nice thing about volunteering is that you don't have to worry about feeling out of place - you're needed. Try a couple of places to find something that works for you. In the meantime, you can hang out with us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Stormy, exactly what Guaruja said, you deserve better. I know it's hard right now to understand, but if he was mean to you, and she is the "sweet" one now, you probably avoided a potential abusive relationship. She won't be the sweet one for long, he'll move on and she will become the bad one. Hugs, many of them. It hurts, yes, but it would've hurt worse the more you gave him of yourself and he kept taking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 It would bother me and I know exactly why - I hate being told what I am when I totally disagree and the facts are not as they're being portrayed. It's so frustrating! It's so unfair! I hope this just reinforces a feeling that you dodged a bullet in receiving this man's rejection, though rejection never feels like a gift. As we all know, things can change entirely in a moment. I hope that things will change for the better for you. I'm rooting for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormywx Posted January 6, 2016 Author Share Posted January 6, 2016 This was a guy that had pretended to be a good friend to my husband. After my husband died, he wasted no time letting me know he wasn't going to give me emotional support, wasn't going to be sweet to me like my husband was, could not relate to the love my husband and I shared, said he'd never loved anybody that much. Of course all the divorces were the crazy women's fault. I was just so scared and alone that I was willing to put up with a lot to try to make it work even though he's not 1/4 of the man my husband was. Things went downhill fast when he started asking for a friends with benefits situation. He lived out of state, wanted to know if we could meet occasionally and "do it" and go home. LOL. Umm, no we can't Thank you for your responses. It was just a weird day yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TalksToAngels Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Very bold and shallow of him to voice his opinion on your husband then ask for FWB. I would end all communication w him. Take my word he will be back in contact. They always are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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