I'm new, 3 weeks out

[MontrealV]

my husband died on January 3rd. he had been in the hospital for a full year (since Jan 4 of last year ) and in ICU for 4 months.

I have two kids (who happen to be adopted from China), 10 and 12.

We had lots of time to 'prepare' but the truth is, nothing prepared us for this.

 

I don't know where my head is at. On the one hand I've been a widow for 3 weeks, on the other hand, I've been alone for one year.

 

I'm such a mess. Putting pants on is hard.

 

 

[Wheelerswife]

I'm sorry for your loss.  You have been through so much.  I know what it is like to have a spouse in ICU for 6 weeks...but hospitalization for a year and ICU for 4 months is exhausting.  There are others here who also have children adopted internationally.  At this point, keep breathing.  You deserve a break...and to stay in your PJ's sometimes.

 

Hugs,

 

Maureen

[canadiangirl]

So sorry for your loss.  I was a caregiver for 4.5 years (DH had cancer).  Nothing prepares you. And your starting point when your person dies is one of exhaustion.  It is truly hard to dig deep to find the resources (what could possibly be left after such a fight?) to keep going, but we do.  Wishing you and your children the best. 

[hachi]

We had lots of time to 'prepare' but the truth is, nothing prepared us for this.

So true. As Maureen has said in the past, "I was prepared for him to die. I was not prepared for him to be dead."

 

Come here often. And go very easy on yourself. Some days, you just don't need to put pants on...

 

[Jess]

I'm such a mess. Putting pants on is hard.

 

The day before my husband died suddenly, we got a new puppy. I put pants on so seldom, pretty much only when I left the house. To my horror, I realized my puppy had been conditioned to know that pants meant I was leaving the house and she was getting a treat. So yes, it IS hard.

 

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you find solidarity in this community. You can do this.