When little ones say something profound...

[daysofelijah]

I'm really not sure if I should put this in parenting or dating, sorry.

 

My youngest daughter is 4. She was 9 months old when her dad died, so she has no memory of him. Once in a while she'll say she misses him, even though she didn't know him. She knows she doesn't have a dad like other kids do, so she misses that. Somehow we started talking about her dad and she said something about how "he shouldn't have eaten all those little things?" so he got sick. I don't know what she meant, but I tried to explain about how he just got sick (cancer), nothing he did caused it, etc. So I think she got it, at least a little bit in a 4 year old way.

 

Then a minute later she says, "But ["my BF"] is never going to get sick." Ugh, just tore my heart out. Made me question everything I'm doing in having a new relationship. She's been starting to get super attached to BF lately and talks about him all the time, like a dozen times a day at least. Of course there's no way I can say he will "never get sick", and it just crushes me that that's something she's already afraid of at 4 years old. Sad that I can't protect her little heart more.

[Virgo]

A part of our children's innocence was stolen when their parent died. Death is a guarantee, but it's something that you hope doesn't touch your children at such a young age. Your parents are your stability. You think they're invincible. Heartbreaking!

 

About a month after my husband died my youngest daughter got sick. She was crying hysterically. She said, "I don't want to die! Memaw was sick and died (ALS). Daddy was sick and died (cancer)." What do you say? I reassure my daughters, but also explain that every living thing dies.

[Eddienhp]

It is hard to hear our children speak of death and serious illness at such a young age. I tried to be careful when I explained how Daddy died. I tried to refrain from telling them he got sick. Instead I said he got cancer and they couldn't fix it. Not sure if it made a difference. My now 6 year old (then 2) told me a cartoon show reminded her of Daddy. I asked her how. She said wait. A few minutes later she tapped my arm. She said that's what reminds me of Daddy. The cartoon characters were in a graveyard. She said that's where my Daddy is. Interesting because my husband is cremated and I have his urn. Maybe she remembers the few sporadic times we visited my father's grave. In any sense, it was heartbreaking. I am sure our children will worry if someone close to them gets sick. They are afraid of being abandoned. As much as we want to protect them, we may not be able to. So many things are out of our control. We can only hope life will be gentle on them. They faced so much already. Hugs to you.

 

Eileen