Topic of suicide in my job

[Sugarbell]

So this week of training is about aggravated circumstances relating to children in care.

 

Today the topic was suicide of a parent...and how the state should intervene if a parent talks about killing themselves..starts putting guns to their heads and even children who have witnessed a parents suicide in the home. And the surviving parent. And trauma..and she gave an example of a father who had threatened suicide for months then killed the kids, wife then himself.

 

No one in my class knows my story. Only a few know I am a widow and know no specifics. These folks are from all over the state.

 

This is why I keep it close to the vest professionally. Even though it's been 8.5 yrs...it took me back to my kids...and my son telling me his Dad was dead. He was 4...he's now 13 and says he doesn't remember.

 

Sigh another day tomorrow....tomorrow is about meth labs...😳

[SoVerySad]

Sending you tight hugs, SB. That must have been very triggering for you.

[First Widow]

(((Hugs))) Sugarbell - that must have been so hard. 

[Sugarbell]

Luckily it was short lived...Today the meth lab discussion has dominated class.

 

Of course...I am way far out...it's almost like a different world to me. I think this is why I have learned not to disclose my ordeal/circumstance...it would have been much more awkward for me if the class knew...the stares, even the sympathy or "I don't know how you survived that" Tends to make it worse or draw it out for me. At 2 years out...the whole thing was more fresh in my mind.

 

Time is a wonderful thing. Not to say that I won't have a moment in different circumstances in life..I mean I lived through it...it's a small part of who a am (preface small part). But thank God I have now had years of creating this new life.

 

I don't why I get myself into drug/suicide/violence type jobs. 😀. Probably because I am a horrible office type employee and want to be out in the trenches.😂.