piecesofapart Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Hi All, Just feel the need to be around those who truly get it. Your posts have helped me so very much. I was doing well for a while and now it's just hitting me hard again. (I was a part of the first boards- as "OneNow" and then when this new board started I was "HoldingOn"- but I forgot the password and closed the e-mail associated with it..in any case- I had to re-join- so here I am as Pieces-of-"a/part". I know it's not healthy to go round and round about what happened- on that day- and the weeks/days leading up- but I guess my brain still wants to /needs to process it? My husband of 17 years (together 20 years) passed on about 2 years and 8 months ago. He was mentally ill for almost all of our time together- the last 3 the worst. The last year he was just so sick- hardly ate or went out- stayed in bed most of the day. I knew it was going to come...he tried many times before- but this last time he made sure it would be the last time. I still beat myself up about the things I did/said - and it kills me I can't go back and change them. The other day I was lost in thoughts and I heard his voice say..If your love could have saved me- I would have been the happiest person. So I am holding on to that..but some days it still just gets to me.... Anyway, just wanted to say Hi again- and I hope I can be the support you've all been to me at some point...and here's to better days.. as they will surely come...hopefully sooner than later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Welcome back. I didn't lose either of my husbands to suicide, but I still wonder what I could have done to recognize my second husband's unknown health issues. I know it isn't the same, but I think it is pretty normal for us to need to reprocess this over and over. Hugs, Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forgottenwife Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Hi piecesofapart, welcome back. This roller coaster of grief is hard, I'm glad we can still come here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Wecome back piecesofapart. I too am so glad we can come here and share this shitty journey and support each other! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piecesofapart Posted April 26, 2016 Author Share Posted April 26, 2016 Thanks everyone...appreciate it...and as sad as it is..glad we have each other for support. Having a better week..hope it sticks for a while- because once I'm back in the pit...it gets deep... and your support here helps me climb out...or stay sane until I can gather the mindset to climb out again... Wishing you all peace.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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