The anger is back

[Needytoo]

Ever have one of those weeks where everyone needs your attention all at the same time.  Co-workers, my sons, friends, bank and contractors all demanding something from me right away.  And I swear they are all looking at me like I am some kind of freak because I can't deliver during when they want me too.  In my mind I am telling them all off and yes I am even using swear words. 

My one friend that I complained about in the social forum (said she was glad she wasn't me, because I don't have friends) is trying to help me.  She isn't working right now so she offered to sell our boat and camper.  I thought I would have them pulled to the dump but she sold them, and I still haven't received the money.  My oldest son is having some issues mentally and also physically so she has been offered suggestions to him.  He isn't isn't happy with that at all.  She has stepped over the line and I know there is no way I can calmly talk to her right now. 

I feel everyone is crossed my boundary level all at the same time.  To top it off I am talking a mental health first aid course this week and I feel I have every symptom.

I am complete drained, angry and even hating my husband right now. 

Tomorrow my son graduates college but instead of me being in the audience I am on stage to congratulate the grads from my program.  Something very wrong with all of this. 

Yes I would like some cheese with my whine. 

[Wheelerswife]

What kind of whine would you like? 

 

I don't like it when people cross my boundaries, either.  My reaction is more anxiety than anger, but I get it.  I feel like I spend a lot of energy protecting myself, because the anxiety just isn't worth it.  On some level, I think I'm letting go of the need for control of what other people do or say.  But still...I'm sorry you are facing the demands of others all at the same time.

 

Hang in there!

 

Maureen

[linda5]

Whine or "wine" all you want.  Trying to take care of everything is tough.  Congrats to your son.  Perhaps you can have a private ceremony in your living room for him.  My daughters and I did this for my son-in-law .. we hummed the graduation march and one of my daughters gave the commencement speech, and I was the audience cheering when she handed him a paper diploma.  (My son-in-law couldn't make it to his real ceremony due to weather.)

[Needytoo]

Today had a very hard time pulling myself out of bed.  I just don't want to face what we call life.  Just too much going on right now and I am feeling so exhausted. 

 

Maybe, Maureen it is anxiety or anger or a mix of both not liking what every it is. 

 

My son is going to go to his graduation and there will be no one so take his picture when he gets his degree.  Getting really sick of this reality slaps. 

 

Thanks again listening to my whine, and I plan on buying a bottle of wine. 

[donswife]

whine away ..the anxiety and exhaustion adds to the anger

I hope your sons graduation goes well

take care

 

[MrsDan]

Ever have one of those weeks where everyone needs your attention all at the same time.  Co-workers, my sons, friends, bank and contractors all demanding something from me right away.  And I swear they are all looking at me like I am some kind of freak because I can't deliver during when they want me too.  In my mind I am telling them all off and yes I am even using swear words. 

 

I feel like this perfectly describes my life. All. The. Time. And I am so freaking over it, that I have found myself rebelling and just doing what I want to do, and it's put me even more behind.

[Trying]

Feeling like there is never enough of me to go around is a common theme in my new life.  I'm sorry you don't get to sit in the audience for your son's graduation.  I hate that all of the happy milestones are tinged with loss.

[Needytoo]

My son decided not to attend his graduation.  His decision I have to respect it.  After graduation I returned to my office to find a gift on my desk from my two SIL for my son for graduating.  I had no idea they were going to attend.  I called her to thank her and she gave me such a blast. I wanted to scream at her but in a calm voice I told her maybe Nicholas would have come if he knew there was family members in the audience, and she could have called us.  She then went on that I should have refused to go on stage and that I am a basically a horrible parent.  Guess I am, but she has a son who is transgender and has such strong anxiety he barely leaves his room.  Do I bring that up, no because it isn't appropriate.  People are crossing my boundaries big time. 

My son opened his gift.  It was a picture of his father.  Not sure what the point of that was?

I normally don't dream but last night was dream after dream.  I have this according dream of turtles and dreams of being in a crowd and being totally invisible.  Weird.

Today I am going on a hike and hopefully don't don't get eaten too badly by black flies and try to just let this all go. 

[Trying]

How about instead of leaving the gift in your office she call him and offer to take him out to celebrate his success and give it to him herself.  Then she could ask him why he didn't attend graduation instead of blaming you.  I'm so sorry that she made a difficult day even worse.

[BrokenHeart2]

So sorry NT they took it out on you. As if it wasn't going to be hard enough for you as it was.  Some people......ok I'll stop there. 

Hugs