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Weddings on the cusp of my anniversary


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Today I will go to the first of several weddings this fall. I would have celebrated my own anniversary 10/3. My husband and I were together a few years but only married last year. I will never get to celebrate our first anniversary and now all my single friends are getting married. And what kind of friend would I be if I didn't support them and witness their new happiness? But let me tell you it is not easy. I woke up this morning planning to just lay on my couch and eat my feelings. But the tiny part of me who isn't a wreck decided to get up and just do this. I don't know how I will handle it. A year ago I was so excited, planning my own forever after. But I have to just DO this....

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I actually went to a wedding by myself for a good friend of mine in mid-June. Josh had passed 2 months prior. I was okay for it. I truly was but I couldn't honestly get myself to dance. I just happily sat, taking all the good spirits in. My husband and I used to love to dance at parties and events. We took ballroom dancing lessons when we got out of college just for the heck of it. I had a good time and didn't even feel the need to drink really. I had iced tea all night. I think the trick is to focus on the happiness around you and not to dwell on your own wedding memories - thus me avoiding participating in the dancing. I did have some amusement by trying to predict the music the DJ would play. I've been to so many weddings, it's almost too predictable.

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