Beyond numb

[fuchsiasky]

I've had a hell of a year. Lost my husband, grandma and a friend all to cancer.  What would have been our 2 year wedding anniversary was last week.  Our 11 year is Friday.  His death anniversary is the 18th. I'm overwhelmed already. So broken.  And today came the news that my grandpa has cancer. They say it's an easy one. But still.  This is the last thing I need. And the procedure for it is on the 18th. Of course.

 

Thing is I'm numb. I've got no emotions on this one at all. I found out and haven't felt a thing.  This is my grandpa and I love him. But I got nothing.  Maybe I've finally reached the end of my emotional rope. Maybe after all these anniversaries I'll feel again.  I dunno.

[SemperFidelis]

Yeah, I think "hell of a year" sums it up well.

 

And I think this numbness is normal.....given what you've been through. But I don't think it  is any reflection of how much you care For and love your grandpa.

[Yell120910]

I'm sorry fuchsiasky...

 

Yes, I think numbness is normal and it's one way for our body to protect us.

My cyber hugs to you.

[Trying]

Our hearts and our minds go into protective mode sometimes when we are overloaded and it sounds like you definitely are.  Sending you big hugs as you face all of these difficult dates and wishing your grandpa a positive outcome.

[Julester3]

Definitely the numbness is a self protection mechanism for you. You are tapped out emotionally so I think after the hellish year you have been experiencing, it's what was going to happen if you got more than you can handle. Hugs to you as it sounds like you have a few rough weeks coming ahead.