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Wedding Anniversary


MauiMermaid
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Today would be 19 years. It's my 4th without him here. This is just all so surreal... I still feel like this can't be real? How can he really be gone... forever? I don't know if I'll ever be able to wrap my head (or heart) around that. I reluctantly decided to work today and I just can't focus. Tears keep filling my eyes and I'm just missing him so very much.

 

I feel like as each year goes by my "old" life feels more like a dream now. My memories of our life together feel less and less tangible. It's just so hard to describe this feeling to anyone. It's like I'm living someone else's life? It's all so unsettling.

 

Happy Anniversary, my love. I'm grateful I could share 15 anniversaries with you by my side. Miss you so very much.

 

"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

 

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"

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Thank you all for the kind words, support and understanding. I really appreciate it.

 

NG took me out to dinner and has been especially kind and supportive today. He actually wanted to "celebrate" and go out for a nice sushi dinner rather than see me stay at home upset. This whole situation is just the strangest thing ever. DH was here four years ago, celebrating our 15th anniversary, and now I have a boyfriend consoling me and taking me out for sushi as a remembrance. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

 

Thanks again for all of your support. (((Hugs))) xoxo

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My anniversary is coming up on 11/30 and this will be #2 without him.  I have scheduled the day off work, dr. appts and a nail apt that day.  Just don't want to be at work and need to be busy.

 

Last year, I worked.... figured keep my mind occupied.  Probably not a good thing to do.  BUT, the NG sent me yellow roses at work.  The card read "I know today will be hard for you.  Know I am thinking of you" The reason for yellow & Flowers..... He did not want to be disrespectful of my LH by buying red roses and he said Every person deserves flowers on their wedding anniversary. 

 

He is also a widow and understands these anniversary days. 

 

 

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