sdarrah1130

Hi all, I am mainly here to vent. NG (widower also) and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have been engaged for almost 2 and living under same roof for 1.5. I have 4 to be step daughters with one already living at college and another one off in a couple weeks. BTW, I have NO children if my own. I have been so overwhelmed lately. I am feeling like I am strictly there to cook, clean and whoopie. I don't know how to broach this subject without hurting anyone in the process. I feel like cooking is an absolute chore as the DD are mostly picky and we eat like 4 things. I have tried to broaden the horizons w NG and DD but am met with "eww, I don't like that and I have tried it before." I feel like I am stuck w prep and clean up. I LOVE to cook and when i cook stuff they like, I am met w that was great and thank yous all over. I just get so frustrated w the fact that I know I am the one who is going to have to clean up the kitchen, put the food away and empty/fill the dishwasher. Cleaning......UGH. we live in approx 2,400 sq foot house w a fully finished basement. That is A LOT of house for one person. Right now, I feel like the place is absolutely disgusting. The girls will randomly do the kitchen, clean off the bar area and vaccuum. I haven't even had the motivation to clean as the task is soooo overwhelming knowing I will be doing 99% myself. Carpets need cleaning, bathrooms, dusting, floors washed. Even typing it is overwhelming. Again, I don't know how to breach the subject without being snarky, defensive and accusatory. I so want to cry right now. I am so unhappy right now. I want to run away and hide for a while. DH and I always worked as a team. He would dust while I clean the bathroom. He would vacuum while I wash windows. I am not used to doing it by myself. NG always says we are in this together but I feel so alone. When it comes to whoopie lately, it has gotten to the routine stage. Same thing 89% of the time. That is when it happens. I think it's me. I just want to crawl in and shut away the world. I get flack about how it's not like it used to be Or that it never happens. I feel like I need a break from everything/everyone but dont know how to explain it without freak outs. Sorry to ramble on and vent. I have so much more but I can't fit it all in or it would be a 7 page post. So many things in my head. Sooo overwhelmed by everything right now. Thank you for listening. Sweetface if you are on here (I don't hink you are) and reading this, I needed an non partial venting space. Thanks

Not first name, middle name is Eric. On facebook he goes by first and middle. At first people thought it was his last name. I think it was a sign that we met. I also changed up terms of endearment.....DH was Bubba, NG sweet face/man

Hi Rooshy, I'm in CLE but I would love to do a day trip to C-Bus. I'm not sure before the end of the year will work though. I have a couple of widow friends up here that may want to join if that's ok?

I also felt like I grieved "easier" as I was able to move through some of the toughest parts of the process without a tear. However, I would get and still get HIT unexpectedly with emotion, fear, uncertainty, confusion, guilt, etc... at the weirdest moments. This I all part of the process and everyone is different.

NG and I have been together 13 months and are now engaged. We are marrying in July 2017. I still go through the insecurities everyday. There are days when I feel like my life is right where it should be and other times I second guess everything. He has 4 daughters 18, 16, 14, 10 and I have none. So not only am I insecure sometimes regarding the relationship but also becoming a step-mom. We are still living apart but I know once I am there full time a lot of the insecurities will dissipate.

When I started dating NG, we texted A LOT!!! Over 10,000 texts in the first month-6weeks. We played the "would you rather" game to get to know each other. Ex: Would you rather beer or wine, would you rather steak or seafood, would you rather casual cup of coffee or formal date.....

My anniversary is coming up on 11/30 and this will be #2 without him. I have scheduled the day off work, dr. appts and a nail apt that day. Just don't want to be at work and need to be busy. Last year, I worked.... figured keep my mind occupied. Probably not a good thing to do. BUT, the NG sent me yellow roses at work. The card read "I know today will be hard for you. Know I am thinking of you" The reason for yellow & Flowers..... He did not want to be disrespectful of my LH by buying red roses and he said Every person deserves flowers on their wedding anniversary. He is also a widow and understands these anniversary days.

Early on I would have dreams of him in his work uniform. I would tell him he needed to come home and he would tell me he couldn't.

I totally get it..... I have the opportunity to become a mom...... A step mom but still a mom.

Many thanks to all of you!! We have set our date for July 2017 so we have some time to figure it out.

Side Note..... He is also a widower.

NG asked me to marry him 3 weeks ago and I said Yes!! So we have been talking wedding, wedding, wedding pretty much non stop since. Yesterday the discussion of vows came up. I think we have decided to write a portion of our vows and recite a portion. Both of us have lost our spouses and I said I do NOT want the "Until death do us part" line in our vows. He kind of gave me a weird look. I feel like when you marry the first time you can't and never do imagine "Until death do us part". As widows we know the reality of this line. Am I wrong for not wanting this?

Cleveland Ohio!!! Go CAVS! GO INDIANS!! Lets not talk about the Browns.... even though I'm a huge fan.

So, I posted pics earlier this summer and since then (2 weeks ago) we became engaged!!

NG may possibly be at the very Chilly game tonight!! Roll TRIBE!!

I met NG online. We played "would you rather" as an ice breaker and to get to know each other..... e.g. Would you rather steak or seafood, beer or wine, bike or swim. Once we got to know each other the would you rathers became quite interesting............

Tybec, I was at a wedding recently with my NG (fellow widower) they also had the "marriage" dance. I politely got up an went outside for fresh air. I don't think NG even realized why I did it. I thought the same things regarding DH. We would have been married 14 years in NOV.

Not sure if this one falls here but I found it interesting how people don't really pay attention to what we actually say some times. I had been dating NG and fellow wid for about 6 months. He has 4 beautiful daughters. I was talking with someone, not sure who...... they asked me about NG and I explained widower with 4 daughters........ Later in the conversation I was asked "so does he have the girls every other weekend?" My retort was "Nope, all the time".....

Hi Virgo, My NG is in a similar situation. He is a widower (2 yrs sept) with 4 girls..... 18 yr old leaving for college in 17 days..... 16 yr old, 14 year old freshman and almost 10 year old - starting new school building. The last 2 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster in his house.

My sex life with my DH was very vanilla and became almost non existent at the end. He took lots of medication for post kidney transplant and I think the meds suppressed much of the wants. I tried many time and got shut down, so at some point I just stopped trying. Let him initiate...... When I started dating NG, WOW things changed. Apparently there was a lot, lets say, suppressed. Intimacy and sex is whole new ball game and I LOVE it and I LOVE him.

I met NG on Match First and last site...... I paid for the subscription only because I have never truly dated before and wanted to reach out of my comfort zone (2 mile radius of where I live) LOL. I liked it because I was able to narrow my search criteria. I searched widowers within 35 miles of my area..... talk about out of the 2 mile radius....... I met NG, fellow widower, gets me and we just Clicked. Good Luck to you. Our hearts, minds and heads deserve to be happy.

I wore his and my ring on my left hand. I always have taken my rings off when I play softball so after one of my games (4.5 months) I only put his back on (middle left hand). I put mine away in my small jewelry box for safe keeping. I am in a bit of a panic though....I moved about 2 months ago and can not find said jewelry box. I know it is packed somewhere but I am panicking still.

NG and I just passed 9 months. B&W is from one of our first face to face dates. Second and Third ones are from Fathers day. It was a great day Cleveland Cavs won NBA championship!!

My NG is also a widower. His wife passed away when his girls were 16, 14, 12 and 7 turning 8. I know he fears that his youngest will not truly remember her mom. I am happy that the older girls keep the youngest filled with their memories, which I think she may live vicariously through them. (does that make sense?)

Eric, Bubba, "E", Uncle E, Uncle Rer (pronounced Rare) Your bright smile and sarcastic, quick witted-ness is missed EVERY DAY!!!!