Young widow - hoping to help others

[amburroni]

Hi everyone. My name is Amber. My husband pass away on October 28th from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. We were married for 28 days and together for a little over 6 years. It was very hard for me to accept because he was not terminal and pass away from fighting an infection he got during chemo. I'm 28 years old and he was 31.

 

I was very fortunate to have a very large support system of friends and family but its still such a lonely process. I feel like my future was completely ripped from me and now I'm this broken individual that is trying to be "single" again while carrying the baggage of being a widow. I don't know anyone else my age going through this.

 

I've been reading through this forum all day and I can't believe how similar some of your situations are dealing with grief.

 

One of my sister in laws encouraged me to start a blog about my experience and I wanted to share it here in hopes it can help someone. Writing helps me sort through my own emotions. Feel free to visit if you'd like.

 

https://intothewoods.blog

[bdean38]

So sorry for your loss Amber!

My wife of 11 years (32 years old) passed away last spring. I think it is fantastic that you are writing this blog! People have encouraged me to do the same....I have yet to make it public though (not sure why). I love the feeling when I write, it's like it empties my brain and makes room for more thoughts, thoughts of memories, thoughts of encouragement to those going through similar situations. It's therapeutic for me. I used to see a counselor and it wasn't necessarily things that she said that made me feel better but rather the act of me "airing" my thoughts out. I feel writing is similar (at least for me anyway) A lot of people (who haven't lost a spouse) also don't understand what it's like...so I think this type of blog is great for the world to see. Good job!! Looking forward to reading your blog as you write them!! At your age (and mine, I'm 35) don't rush anything. Take care of yourself. When you're ready for things you'll know. Remember, you're  not the only one at your age dealing with this (I had those thoughts early on).

[MR]

Hi Amber,

So sorry for you loss but you are at right place as we all are going similar loss. It is good that you have started writing as I feel much better after just replying in this forum.

 

Hugs

Manoj

[HCE]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Amber.

 

I can relate to feeling alone despite having lots of great people around. Try as they may, no one who hasn't suffered a similar loss can understand what you're going through. And even those of us who get your pain can never understand what you shared with your husband. They say everyone dies alone, but I reckon everyone grieves alone too.

 

The blog is beautiful, well done!

[Julester3]

There is bravery in the sharing of words. I write a lot but I can't seem to share them. I hope I can one day but for now I keep them to myself and it gets me by.

 

Sorry you are joining us here but know you have kindred spirits here. Hugs for you today.

[akr223]

Hi Amber,

 

I've not posted on this forum yet, but I relate to your story so much. I lost my husband to Acute Myeloid Leukemia on November 15, he was 30 (I am 29). We were He battled for two years and underwent a bone marrow transplant last March. He died due to a complication of the transplant called graft vs host disease - his leukemia was in remission when he passed (one of the many cruel realities of cancer treatment). I read your blog and can so relate to being so young and knowing no one that is going through the same thing. I think for people as young as we are, I'm grieving the loss of our future as much as the loss of him.

[Newgirl]

Hi Amber,

 

I was 30 when I lost my husband to cancer. I hope your blog brings you peace. I wrote a lot on the old board, and in the early days. It helped.

 

It's always hard to see wids in their 20s and 30s, 50s is most common for "young" widows. Sometimes the young young widows get left out. It's heartbreaking to see wids younger than me, and I felt pretty darn young when I lost my beloved, but I want you all to know that you aren't alone.

[Newgirl]

Tried to PM you, but it doesn't appear to be working.

[Guest KiwiMac13]

Hi Amber,

 

My situation is exactly the same as yours. My husband was diagnosed with MDS July and was going to get a stem cell transplant, but then the diseases progressed to AML. Then he down got a lung infection and passed Dec 24th, 4 days after his 36th birthday. 

Im so broken to. Still in disbelief. Why do horrible things happen to good people.  I don't understand. 

Im really glad you have support around you as I do to. But sometimes that is overwhelming.  I hope your trying to take care of yourself to. I cry everyday a few times a day.  But try to Breath. Keep breathing.

 

One minute at a time.

 

Kiwi

 

[Monique]

Hi Amber. I am so sorry for your loss. I just read your blog and I can relate in many ways. I'm 27 and recently lost my fiancé. He was 29. It is so hard to lose someone so young like you and I have and not know what the future will hold. I wish I had some wisdom to offer you, but if you want someone to talk to, I'm here.