Grief support group

[JP]

Anyone tried one? Do they help? I'm been dancing around the idea as I'm a complete mess lashing out at the ones I love. I just don't want to be the only young person sitting in a room with old ladies as they talk about the 60 years they had with their husbands. Not that my grief is more important, I just want relateability. I feel like no one gets what I'm going through and all you guys are so far away. Thanks for any input.

 

Jess

[beth_krkswidow]

I highly recommend them.  I currently go to 2 Grief Groups and did go to a Grief Class.  All held at Funeral homes.  The best one is one I attend at a funeral home that is for young widows (under age 65).  Reason being, they originally had one widow group and the young ones (who want to drive off a cliff) couldn't relate to the older ones who were pretty much resigned to the fact and accepted it.  So, my "young widow" group is wonderful.  I have made some incredible new friends.  We've have done other things together outside grief group.  I put together a Widow/Widower breakfast and we go out for breakfast once a month.  Some of the people from my Grief Group have attended those breakfasts.  I've visited the cemetery with a widow who used the same cemetery so we now visit each other's husbands whenever we go to the cemetery.  Anyway, the friendships I've gained, bittersweet as they are, have been a godsend.

 

Does Grief Group help?  Not in the sense that it makes anything better.  But it is WONDERFUL to be surrounded by people who GET IT.  It is just wonderful to be able to say, "I have NO REASON TO LIVE.  I wish I were in the ground with him.".... and to get NO argument, just agreement.  So, that is the benefit of Grief Group to me.  Other people who also want to drive off a cliff, who understand, who hug me, who call when they can't stop crying, and whom I can call when I can't stop crying. 

 

Plus, with the group, there are suggestions from one person to the others.  What one person does, another may not have thought of.  Nothing is off limits in Grief Group. And if you have a good facilitator, who guides but doesn't take over, who lets us talk about whatever and supplies boxes and boxes of Kleenex as well as snacks and a fridge full of drinks.

 

The other Grief Group that I go to, is at the funeral home that I used for my husband.  Being in a small town, it meets less often and is for anyone.  I continue going to that one, but it is NOT as good (by a long shot) as the young widow one. 

 

I'd check with the LARGEST funeral home in your area.  You don't have to have used them to go to their grief Groups. 

 

Hoping you find a GOOD one.

 

Hugs

[Wheelerswife]

Hi, Jess,

 

I went to a young widow(er)s support group after my first husband died.  It was helpful, but not nearly as helpful as getting to know some of the people on a website like this one.  (There was a site called YWBB that shut down almost 2 years ago...this site grew out of that site closing.)

 

There was a chat room that I found very helpful.  There still is a chat room you can find on this site, too, but I don't know how much it is being used these days.  It may not be for everyone, but I really recommend that many of you newer folks check it out.  It was like I had my own "class" of younger widows and widowers, mostly in a similar time frame, and we got to know each other by chatting almost every night for months.  Eventually, I met some of them in person, and some of them have truly become my friends.  I have also met others at bagos across the US as well as one in Saskatchewan and one in Australia.  Yeah, I'm a bit of as traveler.

 

I think each of us has to figure out what works best...and if a local grief group is helpful, by all means try it.  I attended a general grief group for awhile after my second husband died, and honestly, I didn't connect with people who had different kinds of losses, but others in the group found it helpful.

 

Good luck to you!

 

Maureen

[piecesofapart]

I went to three different ones.

 

One was thru my county- they even let me sit with a private counselor- I went a few times and it helped- I also went to the group sessions a few times. It was all free.

 

Then I went thru one given thru a church- it was 8 weeks long. The woman were all older 65+ except 2. But everyone got along and now after 3 years we still meet once a month and do fun outings. The lady who headed it was wonderful.

 

Another group I found thru MeetUps- it was more of a social group for people who were widowed. It was a nice group- I even hosted a few events to places I wanted to go- but not alone and had a really good time. Meet three really good friends by joining. It was nice to be able to call someone when I needed to get out and was having a bad day...they knew what it was like- so we could jump from talking about our spouse and then talk about a great movie we wanted to see...etc.

 

I think it's worth it..if you don't like it you can stop going...but what if you do like it and it helps ;-D

 

Wishing you peace...

[Julester3]

There are grief support groups attached to the local hospital, the funeral home, some churches, and some private foundations in my area. I decided to choose the one recommended by the school because it's overall family support. We start as a large group together and then the kids break off in smaller groups by age and we parents get to sit together and get our own session. I find a lot of value and validation in my own thought processes and decisions when I go. I pretty much always feel that we are on the right path after we attend. The kids see that others may feel the same or different or simply realize that we do things well in our own way to cope with our loss. So I found value in group support. I am curious about attending a meetup group but it's a bit of a hike after working all day so my motivation to try wanes.