Widow's Song by Carolyn Moor of Modern Widows Club

[JacklessSally]

'A Widow's Song'

- Despite what you might think, we are not stuck living in the past because we hang out with other widows.

- We are not in denial that we lost our spouses and yet, have a life to live for today.

- We know we aren't the same person as before anymore.

- We probably do need counseling- among a lot of other things.

- We occasionally make bad judgements. That's how we learn.

- We know we don't fit 'normal' for you (or us) in the world.

- We know you want us to go back to the person we used to be. We wish that too but it's not happening.

- Maybe we are crazy, if crazy means nothing makes sense anymore. Feeling crazy sends me on an emotional roller coaster which includes both laughing and crying in one sentence.

- We are going to talk about them, have their picture around. Forever. 2 years is not a long time in our world.

- We feel like you over step your boundaries with us. We yearn for your empathy.

- We can't fix this right now for you or for us. We are doing our best to just breathe, eat, sleep, evolve, think and pay our bills.

- We are in pain. Deep pain that can't always be seen on the outside. But believe me, it's in here and it hurts. So much so that I want to vomit over it sometimes.

- We aren't going to cover it up when it rises up. It's not healthy.

- We do our best to help you understand when it makes you feel uncomfortable. But being uncomfortable is only one part of this process.

- We hope that you never feel this way.

- We doubly hope this never happens to you.

- But if it ever does, know this one thing- I won't treat you like this because then, and only then, will we both understand all this without any words spoken.

Please have the utmost patience as I create a new song for the orchestra of my life.