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4 years


Trying
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I sit here crying for him like I haven't in a while. As my present and my future keep pulling me forward I find myself looking back to my life with him.  I have been over the anger for some time now but today it is there, why him? Why us? Why did I have to make all new dreams after 25 years of dreaming with him? Why do my kids have to grow up without their Dad?

 

Tomorrow I will go back to acceptance and looking forward but today I really need wallow in my grief and acknowledge how much I miss him and our life together. 

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This is a very familiar feeling. The only thing that makes it more bearable for me now than in the early years  is that I know that I will catch my breath and return to acceptance. I also know there will forever be waves of grief that knock me down again, and it's okay to lean in to them.

 

Hugs,

 

abl

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