Has anyone runaway? Did it help?

[hikermom]

I didn't do it but I fantasized about it many times in the 5 1/2 years since my husband died. I thought of pulling my daughter out of school and traveling across country with her for a year. But I needed income. I think it could be cathartic for you.

 

If you head to Vermont (and there is beautiful biking here!!), let me know.

[Milojka]

I realise this post is months old, I just found it now.

 

I guess you could say I ran away, after the love of my life died. No kids, no responsibilities. This is now 3 years ago. I am still here, and I have no plans to go back.

 

I live on a small remote island between Scotland and Norway. Nature is beautiful here. I have a great job which gives me purpose and meaning - I look after people around the island. I finaly found a lovely house which I call Home.

 

For people who have read my previous posts from long ago: the quiet and kind man who drives his sheep from hill to hill is still in my life. It is not a love similar to what I had with my dh. But it is great to have a companion like him. We help each other, we look after each other.

 

To answer your question: yes it did help.

This very simple life is my new normal now.

 

 

 

 

[TheWidowWhisperer]

I have, not to the extent you're suggesting however. I'm simply not that brave. While I love my own company, and being an observer of people, my relationships feed my soul. Being away from "my people" for more than two weeks feels punitive. I've taken several extended beach holidays and have traveled the Irish countryside and the streets of London on my own. It was informative and restorative. I'm now interested in traveling with friends as I'd like to share the experiences. I still do the beach solo as that feels more like a spa holiday. I think when it comes right down to it, it's very much dependent upon your social needs. Traveling with a group may fulfill your need. Technology has made connectivity ridiculously easy but I'm not sure it can address my sense of homesickness. No matter what you decide it will be right for you at this moment. No one knows you better.

[lost35]

I remember the first airport arrival after Everything Happened...it was so odd to walk out of that metal tube to no one...  Since then, there has been Bella Bella, West Coast BC...one of the most amazing moments of healing, early on... Then Kona, Hawaii.  Warm sun and fruit and coffee and air that smells like flowers.  Home to N. Ireland when little guy was ten months...more therapy!  Last year was LA and Disneyland with sister and brother-in-law.  When not on an airplane we have moved...so yes! Running away does help.  Some how.  I've always thought that movement is good and our mantra was, when in doubt, jump off the jetty!  I hope the movement was what you needed.  I hope it did your heart good.  We are in the midst of planning What Comes Next.  (I still hate airports, but that is not going to stop us). 

 

 

[Leadfeather]

I have made the Death Valley trip. It was good. Very hard to travel there and travel back. Sad again at home. Airports bring back memories of us happy and together. I will go into more detail about the trip at a later date. One of the other riders lost his first wife at 40, he is now 70. Talking to him was nice. The one takeaway he wanted to me to remember was that even when you it does not feel like it will ever get better, it will get better.

 

Attached should be two photographs I have processed so far.

 

 

 

[Bear Tomás]

NJ to FL in 2009.  8)

[sojourner]

Congrats on making the trip, Matthew! The pictures are great!  While difficult, it does seem like a positive way to grow into our new realities and who we want to be now.

 

My oldest daughter has done a lot of travel, much international, and finds it extremely beneficial. If you start going out of the country, I highly recommend Costa Rica as a good starter point. I was there as a college exchange student mmhnmp years ago (am 55, so you do the math!), but my late sister's family did a resort there last year and loved it. My daughter went too a couple years ago and loved it, but stayed in hostels, which probably isn't what you'd really want. Note: our summer is the rainy season there; late November to April is their summer (dry season). Someone in the group here currently lives there, I believe.

 

In another year, when my youngest is out of high school, I'm hoping I can get away somewhere myself. I'm have a membership in one of those big box bulk food stores, and recently learned they've got a travel service which people seem to like. Started looking into it the other week!

[baywebbshelton]

I didn't completely runaway, but I did take two months of traveling the US and Europe after my husband died, and it gave me a lot of what I had lost back. It showed me there was actually something to live for, and that I could still have some small joys. It was a very important part for me in my healing process, and I would recommend you do exactly what you spoke of. You have the ability, the time and desire. GO FOR IT! It could turn into one of the best decisions you've made for yourself, to heal and reminisce you and your wife's life together. I can imagine it will be extremely challenging at times, but in the end you will come out better for it. GOOD LUCK! 

[lost35]

Stunning photos.  At least they are proof that even when it's difficult, life can be beautiful.  I've become a big believer in looking for the little, lovely bits; like conversations with 70 year-olds who understand,  in the middle of nowhere, surrounded in beautiful scenery. 

 

Saving for the next adventure.  According to my little guy, that might be Lego Land.  Ha.  Somehow,  I think that might just be amazing...  Movement is good.  Have fun planning the next.

 

-L.