Losing my mind

[ieh21]

I don't know what to do. I try so hard to keep calm. Not to let my stress turn into bad mood. To put a halt to the week and embrace the weekend. Nothing works. I am confronted all the time by ways in which being two would be easier.

I get out of bed too late because I dont want to get up and make breakfasts. I want a bit of a lying in on weekend mornings. But then we're late because I gave myself that luxury and breakfast still needs

Making. We go to swim classes, and I have to park the car illegally, get BOTH kids out, rush one into the locker room, out to the pool, rush back out with the second child to find parking.

I want to buy a bike for one of them, dragging both to stores because no matter how much I shop online to prepare, things dont turn out as I need them to.

Stupid stores open at noon on Sunday, stupid lineup to get the box with the bike I want after I've paid. There's always something. Tomorrow AM I have to drop off one at schoold, rush back home, get the summer tires and rush to the garage to drop it off. Then somehow get to work by ten.

My life is lived in sequence. Never in parallel. And like an electrical circuit,

One misfiring causes the whole circuit to shut down. One task after the other, never two done at once. Always rushing.

Today at the register we saw a child having a meltdown. Eldest commented only babies have meltdowns. I said no. When I yell for no reason, when the lumberjack vocabulary comes out, I am having the same meltdown as the baby. She laughed. She was imagining me last night, when I was yelling at them for no reason, she was imagining me rolling on the bed howling like the baby at the cash register.

I cant stand being alone anymore. It's too much work. I'm losing my sanity and my ability to be cheerful, one minute at a time.

[momtokam]

Biggest hugs to you.

I understand so much of this and my kids are older.

 

Solo parenting is no fun......no fun at all.

[canadiangirl]

ieh21, I have not been on for a while but wanted you to know that I get this, you describe my daily life.  It's like the minutes of the days are dominoes constantly toppling having been set off by accident due to some fault of mine, and I cannot control the rest of the day once they start falling over.  ((ieh21))

[Virgo]

Do you have anyone that could keep the kids overnight once in awhile to give you a break? We all need a break once in awhile. ((hugs))

[smabify]

I so get this! And I love how you put it too. "Life is lived in sequence. Never in parallel."

I have no profound wisdom for you, only tons of empathy and encouragement!

[Sugarbell]

You know what helped me (and I still do it)....When shuttling my kids, rushing, etc....

 

I blare obnoxious inappropriate music (seriously when they were all under 5...I would get them in car seats and drive around on Sunday afternoons cause I wouldn't have to chase them in the car) Now I am taxi driver every night.

 

While other kids were listening to Disney CDs....I was blaring Nirvana, Ozzy, Judas Priest,Nickleback, etc.

 

Now they like that music (I think I have the only 1st grader who knows all Ozzy songs) So now it's Bob Marley, Widespread Panic, Dave Matthews, Grateful Dead....EspeciallyKC and the Sunshine Band mortifies my boys.

 

And when I get outta the car I am always laughing and smiling. So stuff they do doesn't get to me cause the car music I have control over!  8)

 

And my kids turned out just fine-Actually pretty great..and I just laugh through the mishaps.

 

((((hugs...I know it's stressful...but try it)))))