Being active, alone?

[MamaZ]

We are nine years post cancer. I've almost completed the unbelievable task of raising our kids to their majority. My nest will soon be empty. While I am open to the possibility of love again, I am not content to wait for it to occur, when it might not. I have come to grips with that, but...

 

So much of what I would like to do, post child rearing, is not typically done alone, for either social or safety reasons. I do NOT want to let life pass me by due to fear or social convention. My kids do not want me to take on too much risk, hoping to keep their remaining parent for awhile. Yet, I feel hale and ALIVE. I don't care to be shelved or benched.

 

Doing this stuff alone was never the plan. D was going to do it all with me. I don't want to waste what time I have. It seems wrong to, given how badly D wanted to stay and how strongly he urged me to live fully, come what may.

 

Have any of you faced this part of the dance yet? I never thought it would come so quickly. It was always in some nebulous future that was yet, "out there ". For those living this now, I would love to hear how you have rationally balanced risk taking with living a full, worthwhile life, or as close what qualifies as one following loss, especially if circumstance has not provided a partner.

 

[RemysWife]

I guess it depends on what it is you want to do and how comfortable you are with being alone. I don't have kids, so I didn't face the empty nest... My nest was already empty. I like to travel, so that's where I started. My first few trips were just around the country to visit friends. But it's a big world out there and I knew I wanted to see it. I found a women's travel group and went to Germany. It was scary and overwhelming, but I am so glad I went. the next year I went to Costa Rica.

 

A first step would be to find something that interests you and join a group. Take a class - fitness or something that interests you like art. Go out for dinner and don't care that you're sitting by yourself. Get active in a cause you believe in. You have so many options, and you can start as big or as small as you want.

 

Even though you didn't plan for this life, it doesn't mean you can't have a really happy, exciting life. Good luck finding something that interests you!

[MamaZ]

Meet ups came to mind. I really want to get scuba certified and love to surf. I also enjoy hiking, camping, kayaking. Might need an outdoor group for starters.

 

Thanks!