college visit and summer school

[imissdow]

So I went to the local community college today for my oldest DD's placement testing.  Decided to head over to financial aid to see what the damage will be for her to go to college.  For those of you who haven't followed the drama and anxiety this kid has put me thru I'll make the back story brief.  She did not graduate this spring she needs a 0.5 gym credit. She did much better then last year when she failed 3 classes.  She has been tested as gifted and we are headed for more testing this fall to see if she has ADHD or autism.  So the plan was for her to take a gym class and some other classes towards a 2 year degree/certificate in what ever she decides.  She is rather immature but because we are local , a sponsoring school district and will get aid, school should cost very little out of pocket. Thus part of the reason I thought it would be good for her to take some classes, live at home and hopefully in a year or 2 she might be ready to figure out what to do with herself.  So I went to the financial aid office. Found out she can't  get any aid until she has her high school diploma.  She is now to late to sign up for summer school thru the  high school.  There is a summer session at the college that has a gym class she can take. I have about 1 week to get all the ducks in a row so that she can go. This also means she may not be able to attend the camp I already paid for back in march. I did however met the disability person who  will manage her education at the school. She was really helpful. I thought I needed a IEP from the high school thus why we had chosen this route.  She however tells me a IEP is not needed just a diagnoses from the doctor. 

 

I realized how little I really know about what I'm trying to navigate thru.  Until today I hadn't really been on a college campus other then to drop or pick up my kids from what ever event they were at for the last 25 years. I know less then nothing about class selection, financial aid and everything else.  Kind of surprised me I grew up from age 14 on a college campus. My dad was a prof.  I probably should have started all this earlier however I'm not sure it would have made a difference.  I'm frustrated because I don't know what questions to ask. I'm also frustrated because I feel like no one wants to talk with me.  My DD is 18 so she is "supposed" to make her own decisions. However those would probably be disastrous.  She had chosen a college that has a horrid reputation and really just wanted her money. She didn't see any of that and would have happily gone deep into debt to go there. She does not function independently at this point. She needs a support structure yet doesn't see that.  Her 16yo sister is probably more ready for college then she is.

 

My parents pretty much let me pick my college, major and such myself.  I have a degree in hotel restaurant and institutional management.  I should have gotten a business degree it would have opened more doors and I still could have done what I thought I wanted at the time.  I spent a ton of money on a school that was a horrid fit for me, got put on academic suspension. I did a whole year there  because I didn't know what else to do at the time.  Changed schools graduated with honors. I want my girls to succeed. Just really frustrated trying to figure out how to help them do that. Don't want to be like my parents although at the time I was fine with i, but then we weren't nurtured we just grew up.

[klim]

I get you

My son is only 17 but is finished up highschool. He has been so unsure what he wants for next year. He applied to 6 different places and 4 different programs. He waited till the second last day to respond to admissions offers. He then rushed his response and screwed up his application. I've spent a couple of days chasing things in emails and phone calls....and your right they wouldn't talk to me at first, they wanted him to deal with it( yeah right!) . They required an email from him giving me permission to correspond.  I'm hoping I've got it figured out but again it's me doing it .......I think he should be him. And your right it's confusing.

so again I get you.

[Guest TooSoon]

Hi imissdow,  this whole process is inexplicably complicated.  I gave both of your daughters my card, which has my cell number and email on it.  If I can help in any way, just text or write.  While my university would not be happy with my saying this, I advise two years at your local community college.  Your daughter should take all of the  standard "general education" classes she would need at a 4 year college while she's also figuring out what she might want to do longer term (the community college should know which classes these are; if not, I can advise) so that IF she decides at some point to transfer into one she can place in beyond first year status (thus saving money and time).  Our community colleges here have some fantastic programs - ones that I honestly believe are superior to what a student might acquire from a 4 year college or state university and so she might be best served by staying right there in the long run.  There are a lot of avenues and choices and there is no rush!  Not every young person is ready for a 4 year degree program at 18 and there is NOTHING wrong with that; on the contrary, recognizing it now could save you all a lot of heart ache and money in the long run.  Please do not hesitate to get in touch if you or your daughters want to talk some of these things over.  It IS complex and the stakes are high given the cost.  I will be thinking of you all! 

[imissdow]

Thanks for both reply's, It is really frustrating. I spent most of this last week on campus trying to figure things out with my DD.  I took both girls in and  registered them for summer school. They have a dual enrollment program so my 16yo is going to take a summer class just to get out of the house, She chose biology of the human body.  I spoke to several people who couldn't seem to think outside the box they have created.  Then I also go to talk to some really helpful people.  Both girls signed a release so the school could talk to me.  So the financial stuff seems to be coming together and the oldest is now registered for 13 hours of classes. Her placement test are done (she took them twice)  She chose to be a art major.  Not really crazy about that but she is taking 8 hours of core classes. Hoping the art classes will help make the core classes less of a drag and keep her motivated.  She actually came home and sounded excited, that is rare.

 

Toosoon: both girls have told me they would like to come visit your school and sit in on a lecture. Once school gets started again and we see when we can get away I will have one of them contact you to set it all up.  I really don't see the younger one going there however it might be a good pick for the older. Far enough away from home that she can be independent, A few people she knows in the area in-case she gets in something over her head and close enough I can come running if it gets really bad.