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Love2fish

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About Love2fish

First widowed in 2012, again in March of 2019

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    08/12/2012
  • Cause of death
    cancer
  • Spouse's Age
    64


Recent Profile Visitors

Recent Profile Visitors

922 profile views
  1. Love2fish

    How to speak grief

    Made me smile too. Especially "clutterstruck". I was going through Precious's photo box today and I was worried about throwing out a yellowed scrap of paper with nothing written on it! I can laugh about it now!
  2. Love2fish

    Speechless

    Bank people can be good people. The first time I went to do banking after DW I met a teller who had lost her husband 3 months before. We became best friends and 2 person support group. Still best friends. Apologies to Bubu for being off topic. Bank people do suck for the most part. But who knew Gynecologists could be so ignorant?
  3. Come for a few hours or for the weekend. Ground zero is the Village By The Sea condo we used last year. Ladies are invited to stay in the condo which has a king, 2 queen beds and a sleep sofa. Men can stay with me a few miles down the road. We can easily expand to another condo if needed. Indoor and outdoor pools, bocce ball court, outlet shopping, sandy beaches or rocky coast to walk. Weather permitting we can kayak either Sat. or Sun AM in the estuary which the condo overlooks. It is a very safe area suitable for first timers with kayak rentals where we start from. September is the best month of the year to visit Wells, IMHO. Post here if interested or PM me for details. Love2Fish
  4. Love2fish

    Getting help

    Welcome Sera Your youth at 33 feels wasted. At 71 and twice widowed I have a slightly different perspective. Your youth is not being wasted. It is being spent doing the things you need to do as you are able. I read you as a very self aware woman. You know the right questions and you have the good sense to ask them. That is more than half of the battle. I will bet that at 71 you will be a force to be reckoned with. Check back here and let us know. I would also suggest that finding a local widow or two to befriend might be a lot better than finding the wrong therapist. All my best therapy has been with widow friends.
  5. Love2fish

    New Here 💕

    Hi Peg, Good call on not going this alone. We are all here because we know that there's comfort in sharing with others who have "been there, done that". Be well.
  6. Love2fish

    Will life suck forever (on the top of grief)?

    Leadfeather said it. We are only looking for one, finding that one makes it worth the frogs you have to kiss. You only want the cream of the crop and it takes time to separate the 95% at the bottom from the one you deserve. I really am sorry you had this happen. I've felt this same pain several times. Then I found my Precious and it was all so worth it. I lost Precious this spring to cancer. It was still worth it all and I will do it again.
  7. Love2fish

    RI Chocolate Bago!

    I am looking forward to this. I was hoping to bring a date but she is busy. I will be driving down alone from either Ashby or Wells that day. If anyone near either area wants to ride share I'm game. I can easily fit 3 more.
  8. Love2fish

    Will life suck forever (on the top of grief)?

    I've felt that way often. Tough to explain the ways it's worse. Deeper when remembrance of our other loss/losses creeps in?
  9. Love2fish

    facing my inner demon....

    Obviously by the replies, you are not alone RAM. I have come to believe that if I lacked the somewhat spurious excuses for guilt that I would have to invent some completely contrived excuses. I needed a good cry this AM and your thread gave me that. Thanks ... sorta.
  10. Love2fish

    widowed 3rd may 2019

    It does not seem silly to me at all that you send texts to your lost love Simon. I have been known to speak out loud to Precious. It makes me feel closer to her somehow. I can even imagine what she would reply and laugh out loud at what she might say. Last year she planted some perennials in a little garden outside our bedroom window. I had no idea they were there until I saw the blooms this summer. I thanked her for the surprise and I swear I could hear her devilish giggle. That's a good sign of your progress that you slept well and used the entire bed to do it. Most of us have had the experience which comes between sleeping and wake of sensing we are not alone in the bed. Interpret that in anyway you'd like. Your twilight zone, your rules. Just a thought re. Josh and asking how he is. Maybe if you keep the questions specific to today. such as "Are you feeling hungry Josh?" or "What would be a fun thing to do today Josh?" Don't give him any extra room to misinterpret.
  11. Love2fish

    16 days

    Very sorry you are going through this simpleman3. As RAM said, you expressed yourself well. No judgment from me on anything you've said. More of a been there done that. Particularly with the pre-grieving. Not everyone can relate to that because many here lost their spouse suddenly. Those of us who saw the end coming have a different experience in that respect. The grieving I did before my loss was just a real as the grief I now live with. Does that grieving prepare you for the loss or smooth the road to recovery? I can't say, even after being down the same path twice. It just is what it is.
  12. Love2fish

    Wells Maine - June 14 - 16

    That's great Donna. CaptainsWife has already said that the 20th - 22nd might work for her. I think we have a date. The next Wells Bago will be September 20 - 22.
  13. Love2fish

    Went on first coffee date

    Widower, I have found love again, and again, and I think I just found it again. I can tell you definitively, there is nothing definitive that can be said on the subject! It is always different. As different as each person is, the combination of two is going to be unique to both. Most importantly remember that you have changed. You have 40 yrs of experiences and learning, and one huge trauma, that have created someone who never existed until right now. I would caution about too many meet & greets. Many of those women will feel hurt if they don't get asked out again. Pay no attention to what they said in their dating profile, that they were only looking for friendship or casual dating. Everyone is looking for love, they just don't dare say so. Don't ask me how I know all this. Don't expect love at first sight or within 3 dates, be extra suspicious of yourself if you think you've found it. It can happen but it is not as common as love built on a solid foundation of commitment and shared experiences. If you are like me, you are still in grief. Dating while in grief is neither good nor bad but it is hazardous. Be honest with yourself and the women you meet. You'll like the end result of that honesty.
  14. Welcome to this lousy fucking club Joan. I am sorry you are here. Please stay and make some friends.
  15. Love2fish

    There's hope for me yet....

    I can not identify with the plight of being a widowed parent with children at home and I am thankful for that. I'm not sure I could do it. I did some things I thought were beyond my ability while losing my loves but to go through that and suck up the loneliness so I could still give my kids what they need would be another level of strength above and beyond what I've needed. You kids with kids have my respect and admiration.

About Love2fish

First widowed in 2012, again in March of 2019

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    08/12/2012
  • Cause of death
    cancer
  • Spouse's Age
    64


Recent Profile Visitors

922 profile views
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