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Love2fish

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About Love2fish

First widowed in 2012, again in March of 2019

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    08/12/2012
  • Cause of death
    cancer
  • Spouse's Age
    64


Recent Profile Visitors

Recent Profile Visitors

1,013 profile views
  1. Love2fish

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    You've got it Arneal, My brother's wife is 20 yrs younger and they have had a great union. Everyone of us brings something different to each relationship. Love ain't always where we are looking for it, it's always where we find it.
  2. Now for something entirely different. I'm on a dating website. In my profile I say that I've been widowed twice. Minutes ago I got a flirt, nice looking lady, 9 years younger, divorced. I'm not sure if flirt is the right word. She wrote: "I am sorry for your losses. Enjoy the day!" I am neither comforted nor offended, I am LMAO !!
  3. Thank you Laurie27. You voiced very clearly what many of us are still experiencing. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
  4. Maybe next year. I think it's time to cancel this bago. The planets have conspired against us. Only one "maybe" coming at this point is not promising. I apologize to anyone who was still thinking about coming. I had to make a decision today. A young couple with a child were desperate for a winter rental. They were renting from the hotel at hotel rates and getting moved to another room regularly. This will save them a bunch of money, make me some money, and put a winters worth of stability into their lives. It's a win win although the bago is lost. If anyone was planning on coming you are still welcome. We would end up on a different venue and there are lots of those in Wells to choose from, beach, nature trails, good restaurants. Send me a PM and we can work that out.
  5. Love2fish

    The "First Widowbago"

    My first bago was also the first bago I organized. As I told Maureen, it was everything I had hoped for. Everyone got along so well, friendships were born, we shared a wonderful meal that felt like family, my condo did not burn down. Now the plot thickens. I had been seeing NG for about two years. She came to the bago for just a few hours after fixing us some wonderful food. She loved the ladies she met. So much that she told me that night we should do this again. Two weeks later we found out that she had stage IV liver cancer. Six months later she was gone. It is now one year later. Hosting that first bago has to be the luckiest/best decision of my life. The friends I made then were a huge comfort to Precious and myself. I used to think of WIDDA as something that helps us after our loss. I now think of WIDDA as helping me through my loss.
  6. Bump ... Two weeks till Wells. Anyone ready to commit? Anyone still thinking about it?
  7. Love2fish

    Labor Day 2019

    Hugs Maureen You got through the day. Proof: you're reading this :-)
  8. Love2fish

    2,194 days.......

    I still feel married to two women. I was married and with one of them 35 years, I was not married to NG. The certificate, the ceremony, the witnesses, these are not the things that make me feel married. That feeling comes from love and commitment that goes to the finish line. This just happens to be a HUGE problem for me right now. There was one more woman, the mother of my sons, who left me over 40 years ago. I was married to her and she dissolved that bond. She also passed away some 6 years ago. I stopped feeling like I was married to her decades ago when she left. Recently I made the statement that I was widowed twice which included NG. One son understood what I was saying and was fine with it. The other son lost it with anger at me for not including his mother in the list of deceased spouses. It was a major faux pas on my part and has seriously damaged my relationship to my son. He is minimizing my grief over NG by insisting that she was never my spouse but his mother was. With my commitment to NG currently under attack I feel more married to her than ever. The son who is so angry at me now is almost 50 years old and his mother has been gone over 6 years. How long will he still feel that I should feel married to her? That has to be the most fucked up question to ever pass through my keyboard.
  9. This may going come as cold comfort Alma. You are doing it right. hugs L2F
  10. Love2fish

    Grief and Friends

    Agreed DT, we need a word that expresses the collateral damage aspect. Something like "civilian casualty" Hope your week has improved.
  11. Love2fish

    widowed 3rd may 2019

    Simon, as Julester said, keeping busy is good medicine. If work is still too difficult for you it might help to get out and visit safer places. For me it was a flea mkt. last weekend. I wasn't looking for anything. I just wanted to be around people who were all doing their own thing and I could interact with or not. I have been crying more than usual lately but I knew that no one at the flea mkt was going to care in the least. That freed me so that I had a good day. Even spoke with a few vendors about the stuff they were selling.
  12. Love2fish

    How to speak grief

    Made me smile too. Especially "clutterstruck". I was going through Precious's photo box today and I was worried about throwing out a yellowed scrap of paper with nothing written on it! I can laugh about it now!
  13. Love2fish

    Speechless

    Bank people can be good people. The first time I went to do banking after DW I met a teller who had lost her husband 3 months before. We became best friends and 2 person support group. Still best friends. Apologies to Bubu for being off topic. Bank people do suck for the most part. But who knew Gynecologists could be so ignorant?
  14. Come for a few hours or for the weekend. Ground zero is the Village By The Sea condo we used last year. Ladies are invited to stay in the condo which has a king, 2 queen beds and a sleep sofa. Men can stay with me a few miles down the road. We can easily expand to another condo if needed. Indoor and outdoor pools, bocce ball court, outlet shopping, sandy beaches or rocky coast to walk. Weather permitting we can kayak either Sat. or Sun AM in the estuary which the condo overlooks. It is a very safe area suitable for first timers with kayak rentals where we start from. September is the best month of the year to visit Wells, IMHO. Post here if interested or PM me for details. Love2Fish
  15. Love2fish

    Getting help

    Welcome Sera Your youth at 33 feels wasted. At 71 and twice widowed I have a slightly different perspective. Your youth is not being wasted. It is being spent doing the things you need to do as you are able. I read you as a very self aware woman. You know the right questions and you have the good sense to ask them. That is more than half of the battle. I will bet that at 71 you will be a force to be reckoned with. Check back here and let us know. I would also suggest that finding a local widow or two to befriend might be a lot better than finding the wrong therapist. All my best therapy has been with widow friends.

About Love2fish

First widowed in 2012, again in March of 2019

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    08/12/2012
  • Cause of death
    cancer
  • Spouse's Age
    64


Recent Profile Visitors

1,013 profile views
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