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Love2fish

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About Love2fish

First widowed in 2012, again in March of 2019

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    08/12/2012
  • Cause of death
    cancer
  • Spouse's Age
    64


Recent Profile Visitors

Recent Profile Visitors

675 profile views
  1. Love2fish

    There are worse things than death

    Thank you for posting this Mike, It hit me like a slap on the face. My problems are petty when held against such a horrible tragedy.
  2. Love2fish

    Wells Maine - June 14 - 16

    Whale watch would be on the First Chance out of Kennebunkport. We will do all we can to make carpooling happen. Would you be willing to drive on Rt. 119 as far as Ashby or Townsend MA? That should be just an hour drive for you. I forgot to bring up child care. If anyone has young children they are welcome to tag along. We will arrange some activity or babysitting for them if it helps.
  3. Love2fish

    Trying to make sense of dating again...

    I’ll share the advice I got from a grief counselor. She was DW’s BFF and helped me through the first couple months. I told her that I was planning on dating soon. She said I should go for it and that I should expect some bumps and bruises. Learning how to love again is a little like a toddler learning to walk. Take a step, fall on your butt, repeat. From my experience: Nothing about my next relationships was (were?) anything like life with DW. My love with NG was a new experience in every way, most of them wonderful. None of them took anything away from my love for DW.
  4. Love2fish

    First vacation without my husband

    I wish I had some wisdom to share Melisa. I can share your misery though. Yesterday I arrived at our summer abode. I left it last September when we found out that NG was very sick. She has been gone 6 weeks. She never made it back to the summer place. Everything of hers was right where she placed it while knowing nothing of her fate. This had to be the hardest cleaning day ever. In a place that should be all happy memories. Good luck with your trip. You can miss your man and start new memories in between times.
  5. Love2fish

    Life after life

    No I have not. I am not a religious person nor a believer in spirits as in the popular sense. I don't know the meaning of the experience I had. I don't even know if DW experienced anything in that moment or what part she may have played if any. I can only say for certain that this left a mark inside me. I do have some beliefs. One of those is that I could not have had this without first having loved DW faithfully. My promise was that I would love her till death parted us. Implied with that promise is that I was then free to find love again, which I did with NG.
  6. Love2fish

    Life after life

    This is the closest description to my own experience that I’ve seen. . Mine was before DW passed. Two nights before. She had been too weak to speak, inattentive, mostly just weakly flailing her arms if she moved at all. I picked that time to tell her once more how much she meant to me. I could not finish what I wanted to say because I just started bawling. Somehow she rallied the strength to get her arms around my neck and pull me down to her breast to stroke my hair and speak plainly to me. That seemed like a miracle. But the miracle followed immediately after. It only lasted a moment or so but it was so sublime that if it were the sum of my whole life’s accomplishments it was a fair measure. I felt such perfect warmth, love, acceptance, redemption and satisfaction that everything was as it should be. That moment was greater than the sum of the two poor souls present.
  7. Love2fish

    Wells Maine - June 14 - 16

    The condo at Village By The Sea (ground zero) will hold 6 ladies and one black lab. One or two widowers are welcome to stay with me in the campground. If we need another condo that will not be a problem. We will make room. Weather permitting we should consider kayaking 9 AM Saturday when tide is high. Or Sunday would work. This will be in very calm water. The river that runs behind the condo. There is a kayak rental shop where we go in the water. Beginners welcome. If you'd rather something more strenuous there are the factory outlet malls in Kittery. Rain or shine the bago will go on. Come early Friday and leave late Sunday or drop in for just a few hours, whatever.
  8. Love2fish

    Anniversary

    The first time brought me to a place of understanding about love that made the second time magical. I found a goddess. I don't think I could have met her when I was young. I would not have had the wisdom to see her for what she truly was. I am lucky and grateful that I had both experiences.
  9. Love2fish

    Anniversary

    Thank you for your story Donna. After losing my second I am as overwhelmed with gratitude as I am with grief.
  10. Love2fish

    Hard day today

    Puzzles sounds like a great way to focus your mind on something neutral. I think I will get out.a jigsaw puzzle tomorrow and give that a try. I just finished a different sort of puzzle, sorting my sweethearts jewelry. Untangling chains, matching up earrings, putting them all in little baggies so the ladies in her family can pick out what is meaningful for them. Of course there were a few triggers in that job but just doing something with my mind and hands was therapeutic. Thanks for the idea of puzzles MB.
  11. Love2fish

    How to handle triggers?

    That is great to hear. Totally normal and healthy. I like the part you added to the end. We do have to learn to live again. If you are aware enough to know that you are capable of making it so. Have you been getting out?
  12. Love2fish

    Ashby MA, Flash Bago

    Sunday mid afternoon report. I was right, this was the most gigantic bago of my life. As the attendees know already, this was my memorial service for my sweetheart who passed away one month ago. She would have loved this entire weekend. Thank you very much to all who came. 💓
  13. Love2fish

    It's been 10 days

    Wishing you many more "fine" moments Melisa.
  14. Love2fish

    Ashby MA, Flash Bago

    I have sent PMs to everyone who I think is coming. If I missed someone or if you'd like to add your name to the gathering please let me know. This is going to be a small group if you are counting heads, it's going to be gigantic if you can measure the hearts.
  15. Love2fish

    Emotions always so close to the edge...

    I've been saying this to myself and wondering if I was just nuts. I probably am nuts but I think the different level has to do with having reached a deeper level of love. With DW my heart grew three sizes during her last year. I never imagined that I could love someone that deeply. This month I lost NG and I found another deeper level of love. It is a humbling experience and I am grateful for it. The tears which flow so easily now are all bought and paid for. Might as well use em.

About Love2fish

First widowed in 2012, again in March of 2019

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    08/12/2012
  • Cause of death
    cancer
  • Spouse's Age
    64


Recent Profile Visitors

675 profile views
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